I am finding this season of Lent to be extra difficult. I do not know about everyone else but there are seasons in life that never seem to end, this is one. I began this season of fasting with a desire to grow closer to the Lord, I have failed at my fast, I have tried to persevere, but it seems Resurrection Sunday will never come. How often do we stand at the crossroads of life, looking for a glimmer of hope, only to see the glimmer fade into darkness? How often do we feel we are caught in a vicious cycle of failures, discouragements, mistakes, tests, trials and as we find our way through, another one hits and then another? How often do we desire to grow closer to the Lord, only to see our faith and hope dwindle? How often do we pray for Resurrection Sunday to come, only to experience another loss another trial? As believers, we know the truth, but it is hard to swallow the truth. We know that in order to grow we must also suffer as Christ suffered. We know that in order to experience eternal joy we will have temporary pain. We know that while we have a Father Who loves and does not hurt us, we live in a fallen world that will hate and hurt us. We know that we have a Father Who disciplines and corrects not punishes and condemns but in understanding the difference we can only see the worldly ones who punish and condemn and therefore we see our trials as punishments and our tests and condemnation. We know that in ALL things the Lord works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His will and purpose but we wonder where is the good. We know that we are forgiven of all our sins and our claimed as righteous through the blood of the Lamb and there is no shame nor guilt yet we see our hearts our filth our sins and we wonder how could anyone love us, how could the Father love us. We know that if we give all we have to the poor and we tithe to the church and we spend our money not on things for ourselves but on things for others and we are good stewards of what we have been given, we too will be blessed but we see the bills piling up, we see the debt continue to rise and we wonder where are the blessings. We know that the Father gave the ultimate sacrifice in the Son and that He experienced loss and that in order for us to experience joy and salvation there was a sacrifice yet we doubt the Father understands our loss and we question how He could allow things to happen. Believing the Lord is Sovereign and all things pass through His hand, believing the Lord is a Father who loves His own, believing the Lord is a Healer, a Miracle Worker, a Provider, a Warrior, a King, a Ruler, believing becomes difficult. We see the Lord as a Healer but not a Provider; we see the Lord as a Ruler but not a Father. We stand at yet another crossroad in life, in an unending season, and we realize we have a choice. We look behind us and we see while it may not have been easy, we have survived. While it may not have been pretty, we have found beauty in the midst. While we may not have what we want, we have always had what we needed. While we have had loss, we have been given. We look in front of us and we see nothing, blackness, we know we have been unfaithful at times, we know that we have doubted, but we see a glimmer in the distance. We look back, we remember. We look forward and we trust. We slowly move a step and we realize we have strength needed for that moment. We step again and we gain a little more strength. And as each day passes, we see we have strength for today, hope for tomorrow, He was faithful, and He is faithful. Strength for today...bright hope for tomorrow. Resurrection Sunday will come...but as for today, strength for today...hope for tomorrow.
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