I set out last January to write a letter to each family member and closest friend on their birthday, I neglected to finish when I neglected to set aside the time to write to you. There is no excuse other than the timing of your birthday coinciding with holidays and work, and time quickly slipped away. So two months later, here I sit, desiring for words to flow and a letter to be written.
Growing up, as the oldest, I always desired for an older sibling, more specifically, an older brother. The pressures of being the oldest the first to do, the first to say, the one to protect, the one to lead, the one to mend....they were always there, some self-imposed, others imposed by society, most imposed by simply birth order. But inside I always desired an older brother. We all are well aware the Lord works in mysterious ways and He turned the birth order first born world of mine upside down when He brought a young man into my baby sister's life, soon followed by a wedding, and the answer to my desire of having an older brother was given in the form of a younger than I margarita making military Methodist minister! I know the Father likes a good laugh...and I am sure He had a few good chuckles on my behalf. Not only was my world rocked a little off kilter by losing my baby sister and by not being the first to do something but I had lost her to a Methodist minister, and Methodists are known to move! However, I quickly realized that the Lord does work in mysterious ways and that He had given me a brother. Someone who I would quickly grow to love and admire. I first realized how perfect you were for our family when my grandmother passed away a few months after your wedding and you were quick to offer support and offer to speak at her service, I saw you comforting my sister and letting her cry on your shoulder, I saw you sitting with my granddaddy and just "being" with him. Soon after, the joy of a newborn rang in the air and I again realized you were perfect for our family as you begin to prepare for your firstborn, letting Christy decorate and enjoy the moment but secretly smiling as you looked over the baby clothes and nursery. Watching you hold Emeline and the joy that she brought to your face, there was no doubt you were given at just the write time, to just the right family. And when joy turned to sadness, I watched as a young minister of the Gospel, now had to figure out for himself the truth of the Gospel He so fervently had preached. I watched with awe as you carried the casket of your firstborn child to her final resting place, never wavering, with strength dignity and peace. I watched as you struggled to find truth in the ashes of hurt and pain. And you were young, too young to have had to handle burying your child before you, too young, so I never questioned the way you handled things, I never looked on you with judgment or resentment, I never doubted you or your faith. Because no one, no one knows how they are going to respond to such a hellacious time until they have walked there themselves. But you rose, from the ashes, and I still have in my Bible a message you preached the following year on the problem with pain, and I still can remember hearing you preach with a strength that can only come from the hope you had stored up for you in the message of the Gospel. And now, I watch as you bring joy to your home, as the girls run to you and love you, as James looks at you with his big beautiful eyes and just smiles as he sees you, as you make my sister laugh and smile. You are perfect for this family. And you are perfect as a brother....you have spent time helping with my finances, calling the cable company (which in and of itself is worthy of praise!) advice with job, moving, you have pushed me to run better, faster harder, and while I know that this letter along with many other instances will one day come back to haunt me in the form of a wedding homily (Lord willing), I thank you. Thank you for loving my family, loving my sister, loving my nieces, my nephew, and yes for loving me.
So a couple months later and a month into the new year, I challenge you. You like myself are a doer of the Word, we do for others before we do for ourselves. If there is a need, we want to meet it. If there is something that needs to be done, we want to do it. And yes, living out the Gospel in the form of doing and actions is important. We are called to be doers and not hearers only. However, we are also called to be still, be still and know....be still and listen...be still and rest. Like Martha I want everything to be perfect, I want to do, and do, and do, and there is nothing wrong with doing. But sometimes, we need to stop realize our worthiness and sit at His feet and just be. So I challenge you this year, to be. To make it a discipline, to make it a habit, to take the time whether early in the morning or late at night, to just be still....be still and know...be still and hear...be still and rest. The Father desires time with His son, while He is pleased at the doing, He desires the being. So as I challenge myself to just be this year, as I challenge myself to take time to do less and to 'be' more...I challenge you as well. I am learning that in the being I receive the strength for the doing, that in the being I receive the direction for the doing, that in the being I receive the rest needed to 'do'.
I bless you this year, in all that you do, that you see the Father changing you more like His Son, that you have strength to do but patience to be. You are loved...
