Lenten Post 6: Forgiveness...

Lent, the season of repentance, the season of seeing our sin as sin and turning towards the Cross, but with repentance comes forgiveness. Forgiveness, while it is a powerful and intriguing concept it is difficult to comprehend and truly practice. How can Someone, Who knows me inside and out, Who knows my thoughts before they are brought to mind, Who knows my words before they are spoken, Who knows my actions before they are enacted, Who knows ME, forgive? Yet once it is tasted is as sweet as honey. The freedom that comes from forgiveness can only be found in the grace and mercy of the Cross. When I think about the Lord, when I think about Me, when I realize the One person Who knows me better than I know myself, loves me unconditionally and once I seek repentance and forgiveness am forgiven and need not bring it back to Him because He has thrown it as far as the east is from the west, I can not help but be filled with an overwhelming joy and a peace. However, this joy and peace, this grace and mercy, this repentance and forgiveness is not just to be shared between Our Father and ourselves; it is to be shared with our brothers and our sisters, our neighbors and our coworkers. We forgive because we have been forgiven. It is hard to not understand why the Lord commanded us to forgive seventy times seven, because we are human and to forgive someone is the most difficult discipline to practice. How often we say, I will forgive but...I will forgive if...I will forgive when....instead of, I forgive. We justify, we qualify, we harbor bitterness anger grief shame guilt. It takes seventy times seven for us to forgive the simples of sins. What freedom we would find if we just forgave, nothing required just pure unconditional forgiveness. I love you therefor I will forgive you. I do not know you but I will forgive you. Those closest to us, those that know us, truly know us better than we know ourselves, will be the ones who hurt us the most. Yet when we think back to the cross, to the One hanging there, Who took all my sins on Him and Who still loves me greater than I even imagine, has forgiven me, how can I not forgive? And how can I not forgive myself? Many of us find it easier to forgive others yet can not forgive ourselves. We believe that the guilt shame heartache we live with is our punishment for our crimes. We believe that we can never be truly free because of the actions or words we have let slip from our lives. But that same forgiveness that same freedom and sweet honey that is given to us from the Cross of Christ that is poured out on others is poured out on us. We can forgive our selves because we have been forgiven. We can live in freedom because we know the Freer. We can cast off all shame and guilt because our sins have been cast out. Repentance is just a step. We can stop at repentance and never understand forgiveness, or we can repent and live in the freedom of the forgiveness we have been given. This Lent do not stop at repentance but move into the freedom that comes from the Cross and the Resurrection the forgiveness of sins and the life everlasting. 

Lenten Post 5: Dear Elisea...

Dear Elisea,

I was going to wait a few days before writing this post to you. Especially considering I just wrote to your sister. But yesterday I had a conversation with your Mommy and well, there is no better time than the present to write. From the day you were born, you were considered a miracle child, a blessing, a gift. Your birth came on the heels of a tragic time in the life of your family and friends. You were born into this world without knowing the hurt and pain we had experienced. To this day, you do not understand nor I pray you ever will understand the pain and hurt of tragedy. But the Lord gives and He takes away. And when He gave you, He gave us a gift. The first time I laid eyes on you I knew there would be a special bond between us, because of things beyond your control you had been thrust into the role of a firstborn child, and that is a role only a few are called to fill. However, I did not know the first time I held you I was holding a "mini-me," I only saw a "first"born daughter and I knew that our relationship would be different than any other niece or nephew. But as I have watched you grow I see glimpses of me in you, from your strong willed ways to your stubbornness to your leadership qualities, but most of all, I see your servant's heart your caring spirit, your spunk, your desire to pray for others even if you do not know them, your love of Jesus. Do not let others look down on you for being strong willed, independent, young girl, your ability to stand your ground and not back down will keep you from many wrong decisions, heartaches, and failures in life. But do not let your stubbornness and strong will keep you from missing out on the opportunities the Lord may present you or the ability to care and empathize for others, even if you do not agree with them. I see a natural born leader in you, the ability to command the room and all of those in it. Being a leader and the desire to lead is a God-given trait, but use it with all wisdom and discernment the Spirit gives you. Lead by example, lead by actions and if necessary lead with words. Words will be important they can encourage, they can critique. A true leader knows when they are necessary. Those traits that are difficult to parent right now as you grow in the love of Jesus and as you understand His word will begin to produce fruit, spiritual fruit. I know you are a prayer warrior, even at the ripe young age of 4. I have seen you pray for people that you do not know only because you care and want them to know Jesus and His love. I have seen you pray for healing and for hearts. Do not lose your desire to pray. Do not let the world take this from you, if you do not see answers it does not mean your prayers are not heard. If you are discouraged and do not feel the Lord even cares about your prayers, do not let these thoughts from satan keep you from praying. You have a prayer warrior's spirit, may it never be quenched. You are a servant, I see moments where you desire to serve and care for others over yourself. Never let the temptation to think of yourself before others come to fruition. Fight the temptation and keep the Lord first others second and then yourself. This does not mean to be week and timid easily taken advantage of, but this means even when others do not understand, even when others think you are indecisive or being taken advantage of, to stay true to the Gospel and truly think of others before yourself. It will become a way of life, it will become an innate gift that you will know no other way to live. Dying to self and living in Him. 

When I held you for the first time, I felt a bond a deep sense of love that I have never felt again. While I desire strongly to have a family, a husband and children of my own. I know my desires are in His hands and in His timing. And I desire to one day feel this joy and love again, but I know what it feels like. I know the raw emotion of seeing this tiny face look up and you and the joy of knowing you have been given the opportunity to help raise this little being. And then to watch you grow and have people closest to you say she is just like you, what a humbling honor to know the Lord has given me the chance to help mold you. To guide you and love you, to hopefully keep you from making the mistakes I have made, to protect you, to love you through all the ups and downs this life will give you, I know the Lord has great things for you. He would not create you with the unique personality He has without having something great in store for you. He would not have brought you into this world exactly when He did without having a great journey for you to take. 

I pray you never know a day without the Father's love, I pray you never know a day without the love of your family. I pray for the day you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart He was killed for your transgressions and He was raised from the dead to bring you life. I know that day is coming and it is coming soon. The communion you have with the Spirit and the Father already is evidence of the work of the Spirit the moving of the Spirit in your heart already. 

Know how much you are loved....Aunt Jynne

PS: I have NOOO clue where she got the pose from in the last picture...Aunt Jynne does NOT take pictures with her hand on her hip and her head cocked to the side;)....(guess little eyes are always watching!)

Lenten Post 4: Dear Julia...

Dear Julia,

November 9, 2010, a day I will not forget because it is a day I was not able to be where my heart wanted me to be. I had seen the birth of your sisters, Emeline and Elisea but because I had moved to Durham, I was not going to be able to see you enter this world. A few days after your birth, I traveled late in the night to come meet you for the first time. I had fallen asleep for only a few hours on the sofa when I heard your first cries. You weren't like your sisters, you had this powerful yet petite cry. This small but loud sound coming from this small petite little body. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and stumbled down the hall to see you. Your mommy had just finished nursing you and rose to hand you to me. I have never known the joy of holding my own child, at least not yet. But I know the joy can not be much greater than holding the child of someone you love. And I have had the opportunity to do that multiple times. You see Julia, the Lord may bless you with your own children, or He may not. It is not for us to determine but Him. He knows our hearts, He knows our desires, and we have to trust that He is faithful to bring those to fruition in His timing and in His own special way. I know the joy the contentment the love that comes from a child, the child may not have been birthed from me, but they are still a part of my heart a part of who I am. Maybe this is the secret to contentment, being joyful for what the Lord has given even if it comes in a package you may have not designed. Holding you for the first time, seeing your little petite body, I fell in love all over again. When Emeline passed, I made a promise to her to the Lord that I would love each moment I had with my family, but especially the little ones the Lord placed in my life, as if it were the last. I would protect and cherish, I would love and discipline. I would laugh and I would cry with them. Mommy's and Daddy's have been given the most important job on earth in raising a child, but Aunties's they have been given just as important a role. We come in and out of your life and are only given a few days here and a few days there to impact, to teach, to have fun, to love. The time we have is more precious than any other time because it is here and then it is not. We have been given the right and the privilege to love you as our own and to partner with your parents in raising you in His image and in His Word. But we can spoil you with a little more candy, a piece of cake, a day at the park, a new outfit or toy. We can light up your eyes within a moment just by walking in the door unexpectedly. So my dearest Julia, you have been the baby now for a few years and are about to be the middle. You have a sweet yet mischievous spirit....you are loving and caring yet funny and definitely you are you. I pray as you grow each year that you will know Who the Lord is in real and amazing ways. That you will never go a day without knowing His grace and His mercy. That you will be the baby sister the middle sister you have been created to be, the peacemaker, the one who changes the moment with a smile or a joke. You do not have to be a leader, your sister has already established that role and has been gifted for that role, but you do not have to be a follower either. Lead when needed follow when needed but be you. The world will bombard you with falsehoods with images with temptations, if you ever are caught in the middle of a path and not sure which way to go, I am here. I will help you, I will guide you, I will pray for you. That's what Auntie's are for, when you need a little guidance and you can not talk to your parents, we are here. Not to keep a secret from them but to be another person who is helping raise you and guide you. I am not perfect, nor will I ever claim to be, but I pray as you get older you can look to me as an example as a role model. Whether it is something I have done wrong for you not to emulate or whether it is something I have done right, look to me, follow me. And if at any point I am not pointing you to the cross to the Father then I pray the Lord convicts me and shows me of my sin. My sweet Julia when the Lord brought you into this world, He knew exactly what you would look like, He knew your frame your beauty, do not let the world take this from you, find your security and your assurance in Him. He knew you would light up the room with a smile, keep smiling. He knew you would make people laugh you would have your quirky ways do not change because the world may tell you to change. You will fall down, you will make mistakes, but do not live in the grief and the shame and the guilt, when you are weak He is strong, repent and let the freedom of His forgiveness cover you and move you forward. There is something special a special bond that occurs the first time you hold a newborn baby, a feeling words truly can not describe. My dear Julia I pray you never will go a day without knowing how special you are and how loved you are. May the Lord bless you may He keep you safe, may He bring about a work and a journey for your life that none of us can even imagine. You are a child of the King and one day I can not wait to hear the words come from your mouth that Jesus is Lord and Saviour of your life. I love you from the moment I first knew you were to be my niece....Aunt Jynne

Lenten Post 3: Kingdom Culture...

As I was putting away my computer yesterday morning after writing, I noticed a post that was on a dear sister's Facebook page. It pulled my interest to it and I began to read. What unfolded before my eyes was a dialogue between a white woman, about to marry a black man, and a black man's response to this woman's letter. What unfolded before me was the woman complaining about the looks and feelings directed towards her, her explanation of why black men would rather be with white women, a "A" list of famous people married to white women, and the man's response that "brothers see white women as docile, easy, not strong..." As I read this dialogue, first I boiled with anger over what was said about women and then my heart completely broke for both of these individuals and the world we live in. Having lived in a different culture, having traveled to different cultures, racism stereotypes biases are not just an American issue, they are a world issue, they are a heart issue. Ever since the fall of man, there has been a fight to become the best the greatest the most successful. Ever since the fall of man people have been judged by what they wear, the color of their skin, the language they speak, the amount of money in their possession. And sadly enough, this prejudice, this bias is present even within the walls of the church, even within the body of Christ. How many times have I heard a believer say "I have nothing wrong with interracial dating, I will marry another race but I am not going to marry a black man." To which I say back "And why not?" (I have yet to receive a justified answer.) How many times have I heard a believer say "Those Mexicans, those black people, those Chinese..." Or how many times have I heard a believer say "I wouldn't send my kids to that school.." "I wouldn't live in that house..." "I wouldn't drive that car..." Bias, prejudice is not just based on color of skin ethnicity or culture, go to a women's bible study and you will see it goes even deeper. Mothers judging over those who breast feed and those who do not, those who homeschool public school and private school, those who work and those who do not, those who punish their children by making them wear over size bows and those who do not. Go to a church any given Sunday and listen to denominations talk of other brothers and sisters, they baptize infants we do not, they sprinkle we dunk, they have wine for communion we have Welch's grape juice, they raise their hands we stand still, they have all races we have one. As I listen to the body of believers I can not help but think we have our heart wanting and desiring one thing and we are completely going about it the wrong way. If we are truly to represent the Kingdom of the Living God here on earth then we need to all be a part of the Kingdom Culture, not the black culture, not the white culture, not the homeschool culture, the Baptist culture, but the Kingdom Culture. So what is the Kingdom Culture? I read a  quote from Ann Voskamp, as she and her family are currently ministering in Haiti, and this is what she says: 

"How in the name of heaven, could ever I forget that it. is. all. grace? That Grace alone is the gossamer thread that holds your life together. That life isn’t made up of atoms — it’s made up of amazing grace. That it isn’t DNA or SATs or IQ that determine your existence — but His grace alone." 

This is Kingdom Culture....realizing that it is not the color of our skin, the degree we hold, the number of children in our household, the denomination we attend but His grace alone that defines who we are. We can not hide the fact we are all different; we all have different looks different ways of doing things different desires. But His grace and His grace alone is the tie that binds. When people ask me what is the most important characteristic you are looking for in a husband, I have one simple answer. I desire a man who loves Jesus more than he loves me, regardless of race ethnicity culture or background. I desire a man who believes in the power of the Cross, the forgiveness of sins through Christ alone, the power of the Resurrection, the moving of the Spirit, the inerrancy of Scripture, and there is only One True and Living God. Shouldn't this be what we all desire? Of not just a spouse but of the world, of the church? Shouldn't we desire to reach all nations and creeds not because we are better but because we have a story that will change their lives forever and eternity??

If we deny differences, we are denying the beauty and uniqueness of God's creation. Race, ethnicity, culture, denominations, education, social status, these will always be present. But the Word is very clear, "every knee shall bow in Heaven and on Earth, and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord." Heaven will be filled with every race every culture every ethnicity....during Lent, let us remember His grace alone determines our existence. Let us bring a piece of His Kingdom to those around us, let us see each other through the eyes of His grace. 

Lenten Post 2: Season of Repentance...

I always think it odd this time of year, we all struggle to figure out our Lenten fasts and then proceed for forty days to deprive ourselves of some of life's most glorious pleasures. I go to eat with a friend and they have given up meat or sweets. I go to send someone an email and they will not respond until Easter. Music, phones, TV, meals, alcohol, the list goes on as to what is given. I myself have even been creative and given up buying coffee before, only to have others buy it for me!:) Currently I am working on depriving myself of mindless technology  and social media such as always turning on the TV in the mornings, always turning to Facebook or Instagram when bored, does it really matter what is going on in the world of social media?? If they are truly a friend, will I not know? and always searching the internet for random facts and knowledge...I am moving towards using this time to pray for a friend, prayer walk through my home, write blogs, read Scripture...or just be still. And trust me a technology detox is not easy.
While I am not opposed to fasting, in fact it is a spiritual discipline that is quickly overshadowed and pushed aside in practice, I do believe we have taken this season of Lent and misconstrued it to be something it is not. Lent is not a time to deprive our self for the sake of our self. Lent is not a time to lose a few pounds, drink a little less, put our sugar rush away, exercise a little more; no! Lent is a time, a season, of repentance. A time where we do these things, where we give these things not for our gain but to draw closer to the Lord by seeing our sin, repenting of our sin, and feeling the full freedom of forgiveness from our sin. Is Lent not the time leading to the glorious entrance of our King into the city, to the night He was betrayed, to His own best friend denying Him three times, to His brutal beating, to His body hung on a tree, to His death, and to His glorious resurrection? Is Lent not the time where we fast in order to meditate on what the cross truly means? Do we not break Lent with the Gospel? Our sins, ALL of our sins, every sin we have committed and will commit, every sin that has kept us from freedom and satan will use to fight against us in our freedom, every sin that has brought shame and guilt, EVERY SIN was hung on a tree, was pronounced dead and is no more! And we now have the right, the privilege to go straight to the Father Himself through the Resurrected Body of the Son by the initiating of the Holy Spirit for forgiveness and freedom from sin! We no longer need to sacrifice because we have the Ultimate Sacrifice! We fast not because we want something but because we have already been given! We fast not because we realize the weight of our sin but the freedom from our sin! We fast because we are grieved at the death of our Saviour because of our sins but we are joyous in the Resurrection of His body! If our motive for Lent is purely selfish, then let us all have a heart check, there is still time to truly recognize this season for the purpose it was created to serve. Let us start our journey to the cross with a true understanding of Lent. Let us see our sins not as burdens failures guilt and shame but as redeemed and forgiven. Lead us to the cross, lead us to truly understanding once and for all this season of repentance and the joy that comes in the morning. Great is Your Faithfulness in forgiving through grace and mercy!

Lenten Post 1: Starting A New...

It has been a while since I last sat down and put my thoughts to words on a page. A lot has happened, from the birthday's of my nieces to holidays to the birth of a new little one, trials have mounted and blessings have abounded. We are almost a week into Lent and while I have already failed miserably at my Lenten fasts, I know today is a new day...so I am starting a new. As I have grown older it is easier for me to write than to speak face to face. Now, do not get me wrong, I love public speaking. If only the Lord had called me to be another Beth Moore, but there is only one Beth....she is truly one of a kind. But He has called me to be Jynne Stowe...with all the faults, sins, desires, goals, dreams, characteristics, talents, and gifts He has given me. So to the blog I will yet again head, starting a new. I may make it a year of writing, I may only make it through Lent, but I know the Lord has placed words on my heart, and if they are only for me to write to Him then that is all He truly wants. If they happen to bless others in the process then praise Him. One thing I have learned as I have gotten "wiser in my old age;)" is that the Lord's mercies are truly new every morning, that when our head hits the pillow at night and when it rises the next morning there is a new day He has given, there are new blessings to be counted, there are new opportunities to be taken, and the past is behind. His mercies are truly new every morning. And the one thing that never changes from dust to dawn is His faithfulness. Now, this does not give us the right to live as we desire constantly making excuses for "known" mistakes sinning with the thought of "I know I will be forgiven, tomorrow will be a new day." His forgiveness, grace, and mercy are not to be taken lightly nor for granted for if we truly desire Christ will will not desire to live in the flesh, sins and mistakes will be made but they are quickly repented of and turned from. But it does give us the comfort in knowing that what has been, has been and what will be, will be, but through it all His mercies are new every morning and His faithfulness is the same yesterday, today, and forever. To all who have started a Lenten fast and have already failed before even truly starting, start a new. For all who are struggling with the past, start a new. For all who are bogged down with the weight of sin, start a new. For all who are battling so many thoughts of the mind it feels like a 3-ring circus has come to town in your mind, start a new. His mercies are new every morning, Great is His Faithfulness....when we are not faithful, He is faithful, because He does not and can not disown His own. Today is a new day....praise Him in it, no matter what may come no matter what may fall in your path, He is faithful yesterday today tomorrow and forever.