Every Woman Has A Story...

I have a story...every person has a story....every woman has a story...
Someone steps up to the microphone, we think "here it goes again another testimony different than mine. How awesome her story, how boring mine." Someone in the corner begins to cry, "guess her story is the same." Another woman walks out of the room, "guess she is dealing with something similar." "Does anyone have the same story as me?" "Am I the only one who doesn't have something to share?" "Does my story really matter?" "Does God think I am boring?" "No one would want to listen to what I have to say." "I want to know the truth, I am seeking the truth too!" "I'm not outspoken, no one will hear me, no one will see me or notice me, I am not known." "I am not with the women's 'in' crowd." How familiar is this scene? How familiar are these thoughts? How heartbreaking are these lies? The truth is, we all at one point have had these thoughts, have had these questions. The truth is we have each fallen prey to the lies of the evil-one in regards to our stories and women. The truth is stories are important. We all have them. We were each given a story, written before time and it...is... important. 
As I began my career in athletic training, my mom gave me advice, advice I have never forgotten. She explained, I truly never know what my athletes and students may be going through. I do not know what they go home to at night, and I will not unless I take time to know them. A student may be sleeping through my class because he has to work late and stay up all night protecting his siblings; an athlete may not be healing, no matter how well we rehab, only because I am the only one who sees value in her. My mom advised I must know my athletes' stories. And by knowing their stories, I would reach them in ways many cannot. She encouraged me to not look at a class or team roster and listen to what others say, but find out for myself their story. If this is true of me as an athletic trainer, of me as a medical professional, is this not even more true of me as a woman, a woman of faith, a woman desiring to make a difference for Christ? And if my athletes' stories are important, are the stories of the women in the church, my sisters in Christ, not equally as important? 
So why then is one of the most difficult relationships, the relationship between women? Why do we become fearful of sharing among our sisters? Because the world has not helped in fostering this relationship, the world has set standards for women physically emotionally mentally that are impossible to reach. And the world has seeped into the core and heart of the church. The world has created a fear that if we grow to close, we will be hurt. The church has created a fear, by creating segregating programs and unspoken hierarchies, that we have nothing in common. Translating to a fear of being in different places in life thus being rejected. Because of fear, women compare, women are critical, women are cliquey. Through the world and the church, we have been hurt, have been made to feel less, have been attacked, and our relationships have suffered. We as women have fallen to the lies that other women are out to "get us" to ruin us, we have fallen to the lies that having relationships with women will end in drama and pain. How many times have I heard women, even women my age, say they have more friends who are male than female? How sad and how scary. Having professional and personal relationships with males within the context of biblical community and with heart-seeking spiritual discernment are needed. However, outside the relationship one has with their spouse, the deep meaningful truly transparent relationships we need and desire need to be developed through relationships with other women. But fear has driven us away from our sisters, away from other women and when it comes to realizing every woman has a story, we fail.
Titus 2 is adamant about the older teaching the younger about women sharing and learning from each other. And there are multiple scriptures about the importance of sharing, learning, growing, edifying, encouraging others in spirit and in truth. Jesus Himself was interested in the stories of those He reached and in the lives of those He changed, when He changed a life He called them by their story. "You were an adulterer now you are free." "You were blind but now you can see." "You have lived with many men but now you know the One True Man." "You were a murder now you are a fisher of men." Even I myself call my athletes by their stories, "You had a sprained ankle, now you can run again." "You tore your ACL, trust the work we have put in and the rehab we have done, you are healed." "You were on the sideline, now you are in the game." It is time we break down the chains of fear, the bondage of personal pride, the lies of the evil one and live in truth. It is time we as women in the church and the greater body of Christ be a living example to the world of love, support, vulnerability, responsibility, faith. It is time we as women of faith stand up to the world to its' lies and defend what scripture says about each of us, defend what scripture says is truth. It is time we search scripture, search the Word for ourselves and not fall into the habit of what the church calls truth and seek out what is truth, we no longer live confined to what the pulpit says as truth. We have Bibles, we have Truth in our grasp, measure what is said by what the Scripture says. It is time we listen to the stories of our own and applaud all stories, applaud all the ways the Father is moving and the lives that are being transformed, from the simple to the amazing. All stories are equal to the Father, all stories were created by Him through Him and for Him. Every woman has a story and the Father is working through His Son and in partnership with His Spirit to complete a good work in each woman and that work is changing growing being tested and tried until her day of completion. And until that day, her story is one to be heard, to be shared. What a call for women to rise up....every woman has a story....even I have a story...

Do I Have A Story?...(Part 1)

Do I have a story?...to be transparent, for so long I have felt I do not. I have sat through many amazing testimonies; testimonies of how the Lord has saved from drug abuse, alcoholism, sexual abuse, physical abuse; testimonies of women who's mothers aborted them and they survived; testimonies of adoption, redemption, and I have clapped and shouted a Baptist "Amen!" to the work the Father has done and how good He is, but that is not my story. I do not have a blinded by the light, hit by a 2x4, awaken in the middle of the night story. I am not a Paul on the road to Damascus, or a Roman jailer awakened to an earthquake. Rarely, if ever have I heard someone share who's life has been like mine. Occasionally as a teenager, I would wonder, do I need to purposefully do something really bad in order to have a better story? Of course, this sounds ridiculous, and praise God I never did, but these human thoughts these fleshly thoughts have crossed my mind. To make my story even less a story, I do not have a date, I do not even know the exact year (my mom remembers I was 4), and for so long, I was made to feel 'unsaved' because of such. I truly believe from the time I was twelve until about twenty-one I asked Christ to save me at least one hundred times because I had been told I needed a date and a time. Now I am exaggerating on the one hundred but I am saying this to make a simple point: I do not know the hour I do not know the day but I know because He is alive in me and I grow more repulsed by my propensity to sin and more in love with Him each day that is what matters and for so long I fought the lies of the enemy because people in the church made those thoughts real and alive.
But despite knowing I am a follower of Christ, what is my story? Truthfully, I can not recall a time from a podium, pulpit, or stage a testimony of one that resembles mine, when asked to share testimonies, the one's with these amazing stories are chosen. And rightfully so, how powerful their stories! How amazing our Jesus, what the Father Son and Holy Spirit do working together is powerful and miraculous! I truly truly love to hear the stories of all my brothers and sisters around the world.  But the lack of testimonies shared that are similar to mine has caused me to wonder, what is my story? Do I even have a story worth sharing?
Over the last couple of years I have battled this question, I have battled the lies that I do not have a story. It would be boring, if I was to tell my story. My story has no glitz, no wow factor. If I were to write, no one would read and if I were to speak, no one would want to hear. These are all lies, lies we each believe, lies straight from the devil that pierce straight through our hearts. Every story is important, every story is unique, every journey is different, and the journey the Father created uniquely for me before time began is a journey only I can run. There is no shame in having a story that is different, there is no fear in having a story that in my eyes is boring, because the Lord did not create my life to be boring, He took the time and thoughtfully planned every detail of my appearance, every second of my life, every word that I am to say, every thought that I will think, nothing has surprised Him, nothing is not going according to His perfect plan. My God has written my story, He has carved it in the palm of His hand and He is continuing to work in me until my day of completion. My God is Sovereign over even my story...and I am learning to believe, yes, I do have a story, I have a story worth hearing, I have a story worth sharing. And not only do I have a story, but every woman has a story...

The Church's Unspoken Hierarchy...

Every society has a hierarchy of sorts, whether spoken or unspoken, since the beginning, man has relegated themselves to tiers, hierarchies, rungs to climb, and the majority of the tiers one has to climb are based on reaching the next goal, moving to the next chapter in life, making more money, acquiring more knowledge. Society from the time you are born has seemed to map out your predicted future. the next tier you are to reach: you are born, you reach developmental milestones, you attend school, graduate high school, go to college, graduate college, begin a career and at the same time the career is beginning, you are to find love, get married, have children....and etc etc. And as you go from tier to tier, rung to rung, the high school and college you attend, the career you choose, the number of children you have, all have their own hierarchy, their own place in society, one will be relegated to. It is mind boggling and migraine begging and if placed on paper chart confusing the societal hierarchies we have created, and if at any point in life one deviates from the norm, there is much confusion and pressure to return back to the norm.
Unfortunately what I have seen, in the place one should find the most acceptance and peace, is an unspoken hierarchy, that stems from society yet has changed to make itself appear "more spiritual" "more godly." And this is the church's' hierarchy. Education, socioeconomic status, and career choice, while subtly there, do not seem to have affected the church as much as marriage and parental status. Churches have programized and socialized, segregated and relegated their bodies according to marital and parental status and at times have made it seem like a ladder to climb as you travel along your journey. Do you remember promotion Sunday? I do, it was the Sunday where as a child you would stand at the front of the church and be promoted from one Sunday school classroom to the next. (maybe this was a good ole ARP doing!) While as a child it was fun and enjoyable to move from classroom to classroom and it was needed for developmental and social reasons, as an adult the fun is lost and the enjoyment is no more. But it seems there are churches who continue to see weddings, child birth as a form of "promotion Sunday." Once you get married you are now "eligible" to be promoted into the young married couples Sunday school class and Bible study; once you have children you are promoted to the young married with children, etc. and if at any point you find yourself older with young children or older and single or older and no children, you have to navigate your way into figuring out where you fit in, begin to question do you truly belong, and speaking from the heart, begin to feel less of a person because you are not "moving up" the ladder of the church.
Now let me take a brief moment to say, it is extremely important for young couples to have other young couples, and mothers to have other mothers and wives to have other wives and singles to have other singles and I could continue on. I am in no way saying that these relationships are not important nor are not needed. It is extremely important to have others speaking into our lives who have and are living similar journeys. I am purely speaking from my heart, based on the feelings and incidents I have experienced, to the heart of the church and to the desires I have seen and heard spoken over the last 10-15 years from women of all walks of life.
Having been single for 34 years, I have seen women walk the other way as I have walked through lobbies. I have sat alone in seats in sanctuaries watching elders and pastors meet the couples around me and only to be skipped over. I have heard pastors speak of the 'sin of singleness' because in Genesis we are commanded to be fruitful and multiply and man is not to be alone; I have been told I can not attend Bible studies (the only Bible studies offered for women my age) because I am single. I have been the one asked to serve because I am single and have free time, and multiple times I have felt less of an individual based on comments made towards me because I am still in one journey of life and have not moved to the next.
Recently I had the privilege of attending a women's retreat through my church. Women of all ages, all walks of life, all stories, came together for a weekend away. As I looked about the room, most women were married, most had children, some were older, some were younger, and having been in this position before, I was waiting for "it" to happen, the moment someone realizes you are single and either decides not to converse with you or asks married womens' favorite questions of why are you single, you are perfect for someone, where are all the good men, are you dating anyone, followed by the age old, "just wait he will come when you least expect it."  I was waiting to turn and gag and think "here we go again" with my pat answer of I don't know, obviously men do not think I am perfect, I wish I knew where all the good men were, I am not dating anyone, and I have been waiting 34 years I think I know what patient means by now. But "it" never happened, women spoke to me like we had been friends for years; women asked about life what I enjoyed what I loved to do. No one was concerned about my job, my career, my singleness, they were concerned about me. Just me. For the first time, the hierarchy was broken and I looked about a room and saw women loving each other and loving their Father. And I felt like a woman, an equal. Just a woman. Not a single woman. Not a childless woman. Just a woman.
What a treasure and a blessing to see that cycles can be broken that hierarchies can be demolished.  How will this hierarchy continue to be broken in the church, in our lives, and most of all in women? By churches seeing the value of all people regardless of their status, by women taking the time to speak with other women and learning their story, and by not relegating members to certain categories and simply, just simply, doing the one thing we are all commanded to do...."Love the Lord OUR God with ALL our hearts, with ALL our souls, with ALL our strength, and will ALL our minds. And love our neighbors as ourselves."
This friends will break cycles and release freedom to churches to thrive to grow to love to serve and to represent the Kingdom in ways unimaginable. 

Quick Challenge....

As part of a fast at church, I have turned off technology in the mornings and have spent time reading scriptures and searching the Word on various subjects that arise within the church. Raised reformed, visited various denominations, lived in different cultures, been an active member of various denominations, I have always challenged myself to search scripture first then search man's interpretations and to look at the various viewpoints through the eyes of scripture. What does the Word truly say? There is always one subject that divides not unifies believers...baptism...I read this article today and I find it awesome that it is from a father to a daughter, and while he explains and biblically backs his reasons and leads to scripture after scripture, he ends with the challenge to his daughter "you search scripture." I challenge us all, to be searchers of scripture; even if you are a "believer" baptizer not an "infant" baptizer, why do you believe one over the other? Have you searched the others viewpoint? Have you read and actively studied your own? And not just baptism, this just happens to be what I was reading, but any subject, anything you hear from the pulpit, anything you read in a book...be a searcher of the Scriptures, be a reader of the Word, may your eyes be opened to truth after truth by actively participating in the word...Here is the article for those who want to read it:

http://clark.wscal.edu/dejbaptism.php