My Christmas Prayer...

As I look down and see December 8 glaring from my watch, I pause...and think to myself....will time ever slow down? I hurry about my morning, finishing putting the last few ornaments on the tree, hang a couple Christmas cards on the cabinet door...and realize...time does not slow down, the older you are, the faster it seems to move...Yet, this Christmas, I pray...

May I savor each moment as if it were the first....the moment I held my first ornament, baked my first Christmas cookie with my mom, held my first newborn, sung my first Christmas carol.
May I slow down Christmas and not worry about the schedule, about the doing, and start living in the being...making time "to be" with friends I cherish, with family, with the Word became Flesh.
May the love I have shine through the gifts I give...the ornaments chosen with care, the gifts prayed over and picked for such a Christmas as this....because the true heart of Christmas is in the giving.
May I truly listen to the carols of the season....as they all echo the truth of His Word...O come ALL ye faithful, Joy to the world the Lord has come, Silent night holy night Son of God loves pure light, Go tell it on the mountain.
May I laugh and smile at the sights and sounds....lights glittering in the night, bells ringing outside the stores, children smiling as the see a jolly old man, people laughing as the remember times of old.
May I remember the sense of awe and wonder I had as a child....a Baby came to save the world, gifts under the tree, angels singing in jubilee.
May I serve relentlessly, give willingly, love unconditionally...for Christmas is about a baby, born to serve, born to give, born to love...and I was created in His image.
And may I remember Christmas is a season, it comes, it goes...and in life, seasons change, they come and they go, but Christ came so that through each season, we have hope.

So through the joyful of Christmases, through the saddest of Christmases...and I have experienced both... we have a hope. We have a joy, we have a peace. "I bring you good news of great joy, for unto you is born this day, A SAVIOR...Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace among those with whom He is well pleased."

Though They Hate Me...

"And the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job.." Job, a faithful servant of the Father, blessed by many sons daughters and riches, only to have the Father Himself look at Satan and say, "What about my son Job?" I have been 'stuck' in the book of Job for months now and as I sit here, as I read these words again, I wonder if the Father has looked at Satan and said, "Satan, have you considered my daughter Jynne? She has known me from the beginning of her life, I believe she will be faithful to me." Inside I know there is a fine line between the enemy attacking and the Father testing, I know there will be trials tribulations and tests. I know the enemy will turn good into evil yet the Father will press in and prune and put us through the fire so that we become precious jewels in His sight. Job was loved by the Father yet hated by the world. He stood for truth, he worked ethically, he submitted to authority, he loved abundantly, yet the Father considered Him righteous and faithful enough to give Satan the authority to rob him of so much. Yet Job in His distress cried out to the Father "Though You slay me I will not lose hope! Though You ruin me I will still hope in You!" It was as if He knew the Words in John that would be penned thousands of years later, "You will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn to joy...no one will take your joy from you." It was as if the Spirit had given him a foreknowledge of the truth in John 15 and 16. Abide in Me and I will abide in you, I will prune you, I will press you in closer to me, yet abide in Me. I have chosen you, you did not choose Me, I CHOSE YOU, I appointed you long before the world began that you would go and bear much fruit, that your fruit would abide in me. I CHOSE YOU. I did not create you to be of this world, I created you to be of ME. The world will hate you, the world will discredit you, the world will attempt to destroy your character, the world will harden their hearts against you, but ultimately it is all because they do not know me! They hated Me long before they hated you, they hated Me without cause just as they hate you without cause! I came to forgive, I came to set free, I came to bring people to the Father, and they hated me. And just as they hated me they will hate you as well, because you, you are my representation here on earth. You are my vessel of truth to the darkness. They will hate you, they will attempt to destroy you, they will speak lies, they will harden their hearts, they will target you, but remember I have chosen YOU. Before time began before you were formed in your mother's womb I chose you. For this time for this season. Abide in me, abide in my Spirit. You have something your brother Job did not have. You have the power of the Holy Spirit, my Helper, living inside of you. And HE will bear witness for you, He will be my witness in meetings in conferences in times of trouble. HE is my witness and He is your witness and in times of trials He speaks on my behalf on your behalf. Why? Because you have been with Me from the beginning. While you have seen your life in me as inadequate as your testimony one of little importance, I have not. You have been my child for as long as your memories allow, you have been with Me from the beginning and I have not forgotten you. You will bear witness to those around you of My truth of My hope of My Word. Speak truth though they hate you, act in love though they hate you, hold to my Word though they hate you. Your sorrow will last for a night but your joy returns in the morning. You will have sorrow you will have tests you will have suffering you will be hated, but NO ONE and NOTHING can take away the JOY you have in me. Remember that my child, NO ONE can take away your joy. Though they hate you, you love ME. Though they attempt to ruin you though they attempt to harden their hearts and not listen just as Pharaoh had his heart hardened, I still prevailed. I still brought freedom from the suffering of my people and I will you as well. The Spirit is with you, listen to Him, speak to Him, He is waiting to declare all that is to come to you, He is ready to take all that is mine and make it known to you, listen to Him, be one in Spirit with Him. Your sorrow may have lasted for a night but rise above your sorrow. I am declaring to you that which is to come and though this is testing you, I have not forgotten you just as I did not forget your brother Job. Abide in me...just as you have from the beginning. 

To All Singles Everywhere...

Not too long ago, I was listening to the local Christian music station during their morning prayer time. As the DJ was praying, she mentioned a young woman that desperately wanted to be married. At the time I wanted to jump through the radio and scream, "NOOOOO!!!" If you are so desperate to be married you have to call your local radio station for prayer, we need to talk! I was honestly about to call the prayer line get the poor woman's number and have a little "bless your heart" heart to heart conversation. And while I still desire to speak to that young woman, I have calmed down and my heart simply hurts for her. It hurts because I see her pain, I see her desires, and I can echo them in my own heart. It hurts because I see her, along with so many young women (and men) who live their lives in desperation of desires that they forget the life that is happening right now, at this moment, in this day, in this season of their lives. They have become so focused on finding Mr Right that they have forgotten The Right One is pursuing their body soul and spirit daily. They have become so filled with self that they have forgotten to pour out self and give and serve. They have been lost in a crowd of ministries that they have forgotten how to minister. They have been so burned by the church by women by life that they have hidden beneath a surface of superficial smiles and conversational one-liners because why go deeper to only be hurt, why go deeper to only be over looked.
A few years ago, I was sitting in a hot pink living room on a pristine white sofa holding a cup of coffee and talking to an amazing woman, who happened to be single (and still is single!). As we sat talking, a stirring came up in my soul, a stirring that only the Spirit can give. I looked across the room and saw a woman who loved the Lord who desired to be married but who lived life to the fullest, never looking to the things she did not have but always taking account for the things she did have. As I sat there feeling the Spirit rise within me, I began to think of all the other women I had been watching for years, a leader who lived her life over seas serving in Asia; a young woman who moved to South Carolina, works in a food and wine industry that desperately needs Jesus, and daily makes the lives of those around her happier simply because she loves Jesus; a young woman who is ministering in the darkest places of Los Angeles, able to get behind curtains and doors into dressing rooms and clubs simply because she cares for the broken. The list of single women living life to the fullest and loving Jesus started mounting in my mind and it began to pour into my Spirit. And in that moment I realized, I too had been given a gift. I had been given the gift of singleness. I had been able to live over seas, move to different cities, attend graduate school, work in various schools, minister in various churches and I had been living life to the fullest, without even realizing the value of the gift I had been given.
As I sit here the enemy likes to lie. He likes to cover our thoughts with ugly reminders of the things we do not have, he likes to take our thoughts and turn them back into the times of hurt and pain, he likes to remind us of our often over looked passed by selves. He likes to take the things we are the strongest at especially as strong independent opinionated women and make us feel weak and unloved and unapproachable.
So to all singles everywhere, it is time to rise up. It is time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get back in the ball game of life. You have been given a gift that not many have been given, the gift of singleness. While you have careers and jobs, bills and homes, flat tires and dirty dishes, and you are often misunderstood to have an abundance of free time, a late to bed time and an even later waking up time, you can be understood. You have desires and dreams and passions and goals and just because you are single does not mean they are not legitimate.  You have gifting and talent that need to be used. You were not given singleness as a gift for yourself, you were not given passions desires gifts and talents to be used for your glory and to serve you. You were given singleness to give, you were given passions and desires to be fulfilled and bring glory to the One who gave them. You were given gifts and talents to serve and minister. The only way to change the hearts and minds of others is to change your heart and mind first and then to love on them, serve them, and minister to them. If you are dwelling in your singleness, then all around you will dwell with you. If you are living in the fullness of your gift then all around you will live in the fullness of theirs. Nothing negates the hurt the pain the sorrow and suffering you feel and go through, the loneliness the questions the doubts the fears. They are legitimate and they are real. But nothing negates the truth, and the truth is you were created for this season for this moment for this time. Everything under the sun has a season, there is a time for everything, there is a time to mourn but do not stay there. There is a time to question but do not live there. The Father wrote your script long before you came into being, He knew exactly the moment and the days before you were a thought. He has written your story and there is no Greater Author than He.
To all singles everywhere, please negate calling your local radio station, for your sake and for mine. And remember this is a season that many do not get to experience, live it in abundance live it in excitement live it in joy, because it is a season that is here today and gone tomorrow. For He knows the plans He has for you, plans of a hope and a future.

Dear Jynne...Yes, You're 35 Now...

Thirty-five...thirty-five...It does not matter how many times you say it or how many different ways you say it. You are still thirty-five. And be grateful you are, the other option, while it means seeing Me, your Saviour face to face, well, it's not the option I believe you desire in the immediate future. So here you sit, in your comfy over sized chair, writing a letter to yourself, and realizing you have reached a milestone the pinnacle of your thirties. There are two questions that should go through your mind. In fact I know you well, so I am positive they have been constantly running through your mind. First, what have you done with the first thirty-five years of my life and second, what are you going to do with the next? Those are loaded questions, let's be honest. In thirty-five years, you have learned to crawl, learned to walk, learned to run, learned to read write add subtract, graduated high school college and graduate school; you have played basketball high school basketball college basketball; you have played piano and attempted to minor in music; you have sung church choir high school choir Erskine Choraleers; you have started a career, worked at 8 different schools (some at the same time!);  you have lived in 2 countries 3 states and 5 cities and this is not including the friends you have met the family you have loved on. My head is already spinning, and I wrote out this journey for you. I have a feeling the next thirty-five years may be a little more settled...well, in some ways. Yet knowing you so well, I am positive to say that your earthly accomplishments are not what you have been pondering over, thinking through. So when I asked the question "What have you done with the first thirty-five years of life?" You started thinking deeper. So while you are lost in thought, this is what I have seen. I have seen a young girl being called to Christ at 4 years old after a conversation with her mom. I have seen a young child sitting at the feet of missionaries desiring to serve the Lord with the humility and power and strength they did. I have seen a teenager desiring to fit in, have a boyfriend, have people like her, but wanting to live a life the Father desired and fighting the feelings of no one will ever like me, I'm just every guys' friend. I have seen a young woman off to college, feeling the tugging and calling of the Father to put her career on hold and go to a different county to serve His people in Asia. Knowing it wasn't going to be received well, walking with boldness into her professor's office to tell him she was giving up Graduate Assistant positions. I have seen a young woman come alive in the classroom dancing and singing with her students overseas, showing them the love of the Father through actions and deeds because words were unable to be used. I have seen a woman battle in a male dominated career yet do so with strength and dignity. Using love and passion for Christ as her sword and winning hearts of kids from Charlotte to Richmond to Anderson to Durham and back. I have seen young men and women walk into your room in despair and leave with joy and hope. I have seen an army of young people falling in line behind you because you love them, not because they are perfect but because they are people. Every race, every color, every demographic, every orientation, every one...you have never discriminated. You have always loved. You have never condoned but you have never condemned. You have spoken My truth over them and while they may not always seemed listen they have heard it. The seeds have been planted. I have seen you morn loss, I have seen you fight demons, I have seen you question me, I have seen you hit the bottom and have no where but up to go. I have given life and I have taken life from you. I have given finances and I have taken them away. I have given health and I have taken health. My son Job has been your battle cry. I have seen you put your heart on your sleeve and love others with unconditional love. I have seen you become more like your Granddaddy more like your Uncle Dave more like your mom your dad your  sister, the faith of those who have gone before you. So, what have you done in your first thirty-five years? Exactly what I have planned for you to do. Exactly what was planned before you were even a thought on this earth. And now I ask you, "what will you do with the next thirty-five years?" I have had Romans 4 written for you, to you, for hundreds of years. Thankfully you have found it. But I want you to remember Abraham. I gave Him a promise and while he could have laughed and thought I crazy, (which I promise you, he did at times, I just did not have enough pages to write his entire story, but remember he was human and he had his moments)  he never weakened in his faith. Even when he looked at his body and his wife's body, even when he realized her clock had quit ticking and his body was as good as dead. He did not weaken; nothing, nothing caused him to waver concerning My promises to him. He continued growing in his faith, he continued giving Me the glory, and he was fully convinced I was able to do what I had said I would do. And I did not write these words just for Abraham but for you. Never weaken in your faith, though you do not see answers now. Though I have delayed giving you desires, though your checkbook is at zero and your biological clock is slowing down. Never weaken. But continue as you have, continue growing, continue giving me the glory. While I know right now, your next thirty-five years, while I have written the story before you took your first breath, and I have carved it out in due time, if I were to tell you it all right now, you wouldn't be able to handle it. That is why I have given you today. That is why My grace is sufficient for today. That is why My mercies are new every morning. That is why I do not want you to worry about tomorrow. I know your heart, I know your desires, I have seen as you have been faithful in the small things in life. I have seen your failures I have seen your times of questions and doubts. Trust Me. The best is yet to come. There is more to this life here on earth for you. So in times of doubt, remember Abraham. In times of worry remember Abraham. In times of looking at your body and seeing it age, remember Abraham. It was credited to him as righteousness and it will be credited to you the same. So yes Jynne, you are thirty-five now. Press on...press on towards the goal for which I have called you. You're best is yet to come. 

A Titus 2 Generation...

"Please sing me "Amazing Grace"," a sweet little voice speaks into the darkness. "Yes 'mam, my Julia-bug." "Amazing grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me..." "Keep singing it Aunt Jynne, please don't stop, sing all the verses." As I left the room that night, I was brought to tears. What a special moment, singing a hymn that has graced so many of life's toughest moments. I knew at 3 years old that my niece didn't truly understand the words, what 3 year old knows the definition to "wretch" or even "grace?" Nor did she understand the meaning, how much grace does a 3 year old need? (Well....on the other hand...she definitely knows what grace is!) But what brought me to tears was the power in the words she requested me to sing. Words that have been sung for generations upon generations. Words that one day she will sing not because she likes the tune, but because they are real and alive to her. Words that one day will bring her through life's valleys and shadows. What brought me to tears is that at 3 years old she is willing to sit at the feet of those who are older and listen to their anthems, hear their stories, and have them repeated to her over and over again. She could have chosen any song, she knows the likes of Laura Story, Shane and Shane, Hillsong, yet she chose a hymn, a song that her great-great-great grandparents once sung. She was, in her childlike way, showing me the importance of being a Titus 2 believer.
There is power in words sung and spoken for generations. And what I fear is that as many are passing on the traditional, we are raising a generation that will not understand nor know the words and faith of our forefathers. How Great Thou Art....Great Is Thy Faithfulness...Oh For a Thousand Tongues to Sing...Holy, Holy, Holy...A Mighty Fortress Is Our God....Crown Him with Many Crowns...Blessed Assurance...Praise Ye the Lord the Almighty...It Is Well...Take My Life and Let It Be...Faith of Our Fathers...They will not know the declaration of "I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth.." These and so many more have brought me through so many of life's ups and downs. How many times have I been a part of a worship experience that the room changes and the voices become louder when the worship leader begins singing the words to a hymn. How many times have I seen people start weeping as they struggle to utter the words "It is well...with my soul." How many times have I felt the power of the Spirit as His people declare out loud, in unison, what they believe.
I love modern hymns and anthems. I love the freedom of expression and freedom of worship that flows in those environments. I love music, drums, beats, words and anthems of my generation yet I struggle to forget the generations behind me. I feel some churches have so tried to step away from the traditional that they have almost forgotten there is a generation sitting in their seats who we can learn from, who we can sing their anthems right along with our own. There is a mighty generation of faith in this nation and in the world who are marching closer to their heavenly home and let's not forget them. Let's not forget to include them in our worship, let's not forget to sing together with them the words that they sang as children. Let us not forget the stories they have kept alive through their words and songs. Let's sit at their feet, listen to their wisdom. Let's remember not everyone hated church as a child, not everyone was hurt by the traditional, not everyone felt stifled and oppressed. Let's raise up a generation of children, of youth, who value their Christian forefathers, whether they were Baptist, Pentecostal, Presbyterian, Methodist. Let's raise a generation who desires to sing the anthems, speak the declarations of faith that their grandparents sang and spoke. Let's raise a Titus 2 generation, a generation who values their elders, a generation who does not think they have it "all together," but knows that they need wisdom knowledge guidance discernment and experiences from generations who have gone before. And let us be a generation who passes on our anthems, our declarations of faith, our hymns and words of freedom and salvation to the generations that come behind us. Let us give the children and youth feet to sit at, shoulders to lean on, words to take with them into their futures. "Older men are to be...older women likewise are to be...so train young women....urge young men. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works and in your teaching show integrity, dignity and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us." 

"Expectations Kill Joy"

We are a nation of fasters. We fast from chocolate, from carbs, from sweets in general, from diet sodas, from sodas, from television, from movies, from relaxing...and the list goes on...and we are miserable! Look around, we have created a society of misery! We sit at birthday parties eating our carrots and hummus while everyone else is enjoying their cake and ice cream, now I love carrots and hummus but come on people, eat the cake! But...I am the "pot calling the kettle black." I have joined the nation of fasters. I have fasted over the past year and oddly enough I am not miserable. For the past year I have fasted from frustration over failed expectations. And I have never been more joyful and more content. Over a year ago I read the quote from Ann Voskamp "Expectations kill joy." On the surface one could argue "yes, expectations kill joy," or "no, expectations do not kill joy," or "well....some expectations kill joy, but not all," but over the last year this finite mind has taken the surface of this quote and realized there is a much deeper implication. Ann Voskamp understands a deeper truth rooted in "Rejoice always, and again, I say rejoice." She understands that determining our joy based off of expectations will only result in misery disappointment and frustrations. And yes on a surface level expectations can be a good thing, expectations of the Father, expectations of the Son, expectations of the Holy Spirit...expectations in general can be a good thing and can bring joy. However, taking it deeper, taking it to the root of the statement, expectations can kill joy. "Rejoice always, and again, I say rejoice!"
As a customer, I have every right to expect my food be delivered to me in a timely manner, whether dine-in, take-out or delivery. I have the right to expect my food to be delivered timely, but what happens when there is an accident down the street and the delivery person is 10 minutes late, or a cook gets ill all of a sudden and my food is brought to me 15 minutes later than I feel is acceptable? Is my joy going to be killed? As a consumer, I have every right to expect a product to work and work as the company advertises. But what happens when my phone lock button stops working or my watches' timer breaks? Is my joy left locked with the product? As a parent, I expect my children to behave properly, I teach my children mold my children in the Word, but what happens when they choose a different path? Or what happens when they break down into a fit of rage in the middle of a store? Do I lose my joy? As a teacher, I expect my students to behave, to achieve great things, to make good grades, and I teach well and provide structure in my classroom, but what happens when my straight-A student fails a test? Or my students all decide to behave poorly, at the same time? Or my best student gets upset and walks out of class? Does my joy follow out the door behind? People will fail us, things will fail us, everything in this finite temporal world will fail us and the expectations we place on people, on objects, will at some point lead us to the choice- will I rejoice always? Or, will my expectations kill my joy? I can place well meaning expectations on people, on objects, on circumstances but there will come a time, there will come a moment when those expectations will not be met, and how I respond in that moment will result in a moment of frustration or a moment of choosing joy. Despite what expectation has been unmet, "Rejoice always, and again, I say rejoice."
As a believer, I know I can expect my Father, I can expect the Son, and I can expect the Holy Spirit to do, to provide, to be because Scripture is clear in the promises of each. The Triune God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow, this is a promise. His mercies are new every morning, this is a promise. He will bring comfort and peace, strength for today, hope for tomorrow, these are promises. And yes I can expect my Father to pour steadfast everlasting love and hold me in His arms daily and forever. But...what happens when your relative suddenly passes of a heart attack? Your infant niece passes after 7 short weeks on this earth? Your young uncle is diagnosed with ALS and passes away before seeing his own children graduate high school? Your doctors can not figure out what is going on in your leg and a year later you have to have surgery? Your bank account dwindles not from your own mismanagement but from medical bills and daily living? Your friends disown you? What happens when you feel like your prayers are being stuck in the ceiling of your room? Or you feel the Father does not hear your heart's desires and your innermost thoughts? On the surface the obvious answer is you run to Scripture, you search the promises of the Father, you speak back the Words of the Son to Him, and you ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with His presence and peace. Yes, these are all true...but sometimes our expectations of the Father in our finite minds are not met and we are faced with the decision do I still choose joy? Because as humans, we sometimes forget the eternal and live in the temporal. As humans, our finite minds place infinite expectations on humans and finite expectations on God. We place God-like expectations on humans and human-like expectations on God. We know we have a Triune God Who is omniscient omnipresent omnipotent, and we expect the humans in our lives to know exactly what we mean, to always be present, to never leave us, and we give them the power to dictate how we feel and how we act. We place these God-like expectations on the humans in our lives and they fail us. And in return, we place human-like expectations on our God and when we do not see prayers answered or our world is caving in, we believe He does not know our hearts, He is not powerful enough to do something, and He has left us alone to handle the situation. And the joy set before us is thrown to the side.
There is a reason 'rejoice' is stated twice. "Rejoice always, and again, I say rejoice." There is a reason joy comes before trials "Count it all joy when you face trials." Because the Father knew we would expect. The Father knew that our expectations would bring us to a point of choice, of choosing. The Father knew that our expectations of the world would be placed on Him in our finite temporal human minds. The Father knew that we would need the reminder that in all things, rejoice, that through all things, rejoice.
So I continue to fast. I continue to fast from placing God-like expectations on the people around me, I continue to fast from placing human-like expectations on the God Who will never fail me. I continue to fast from letting expectations of children's behavior, students' achievements, iPhone applications, food quality, weight gain, desires unfulfilled bring frustration and kill my joy. Yes, there are healthy expectations, yes there are expectations we must hold, but we have the power to choose how we respond when those expectations are not met, we have the power to choose how we respond to the Father when His desire and His plan is not the plan we had in our finite minds. He has given us the freedom to choose joy. Expectations can kill joy. Yet despite the expectations "Rejoice always, and again, I say REJOICE!"

For the Love of Money...

The Father has a way of testing us and usually by loss, the loss of the things we hold the tightest. The tighter the grip, the higher the possibility He will test. In actuality, those things we hold the tightest are usually the idols in our lives that have taken the place of the Father, and His only desire is to regain His rightful position as the Center and Only in our lives. Personally, I have felt the sting of loss, the loss of loved ones, of friendships, of exercise, of health and of finances. He has seen idols arise and He has broken them down. But through it all I have realized that the Father is only testing to prove me sufficient for accomplishing His will, He is only testing to create a perseverance in me. He is testing to assure when hardships arise He is my Center and He is my Only. And He is testing to know that in times of plenty He can trust....He can trust that I will give, that I will serve, that the love of money will not crowd the vision He has placed, that the love of money will not be the root that drives, but that in times of plenty I will give and in times of need I will give.
The more I read the Word, the more His teachings on rich and poor, plenty and in need, love of money, giving of all you have are brought to light. Scripture after Scripture after Scripture teaches how hard it is for the rich to enter heaven, how we are given much to give away much. And all The Son's teachings culminate in Acts, where the church was given the command and the desire to live in common and to live as one. Acts 2, Acts 4 (and I have not gotten past Acts 4 because I am in awe of the first four chapters, the power of the Holy Spirit and the church living as one)...the church devoted itself to fellowship, breaking of bread, no one was in need, selling their possessions, living in common, living as one. What if the modern church lived as the church in Acts? What if I lived as a member of the church in Acts? Would no one be in need? Would not debt be paid and freedom be found? Would not finances be restored? Would not others be free to minister and serve here and overseas without lack of finances and worry of provision? We are so quick to hoard and save. We are quick to purchase and live out of the abundance and first fruits and not out of the remains and "left-overs." We are so afraid to live a life of giving because we are worried about not having, not being able to provide. The last few years have taught me, the more I give the more the Father provides. I have had moments where I wondered how I would pay my bills, how I would survive and I have never once not had exactly what I have needed. I have had pennies to my name and have seen the Father provide. I have made it a discipline to tithe even when according to my budget tithing is impossible. I have made it a discipline to continue to give to missionaries and ministries even when according to my budget I should not. I have made it my desire to spend time with others, travel to see those I love, even when I would have to give up purchases for myself. These past few years have shown me, have produced in me the less I have the more I desire to give; the less I have the more I desire to have because I desire to give more. The Father has created in me a hunger to give out of my need and to give out of my abundance. I want abundantly so I can give abundantly. And when I see the love of money taking root, the Father takes away. Not because He desires me to be in want, but because He desires me to be in Him. He desires to be my Center my Only whether in need or in abundance. I do not say these things to make myself look great or to make it seem like I am perfect. I am far from it. For years I desired to live in abundance to have for myself. Yes, I have always loved to give, I love giving to others it is an overwhelming desire in my heart, but there was still that inner battle of I wanted the nicest car, the prettiest clothes, the newest gadgets, the best of everything. When all was taken away I neglected to tithe because financially my budget said it was not possible. When I was in need I neglected to give. Then the Lord blessed me again financially a few years ago, for only a year. It was in that year I realized I was given to give, whether in want or in abundance I was given to give. So when the Father took everything away the following year, I knew I was to continue to tithe, continue to give, continue to minister. And He continued to take away and I knew I would be provided for. And He continued to take away and I doubted and I struggled but I knew I would be provided for.
The Father desires to bless and there is nothing wrong with wanting nice things, for desiring to have a nice outfit, a nice house. He wants to bless us but for the love of money, we must desire these things out of the remains not out of the firsts. We must give and give until we do not see a need and then what is left is for our enjoyment our pleasure. When we see the love of money growing root in our hearts, we must give it away and recenter our hearts. There is nothing wrong with wanting more, for desiring to have financially, if our hearts are truly pointed to the cross, if our desire to want more is in order to give more. He gives so we can give. To those much is given, much is expected.  Tithe, offer, give and see how He provides our daily needs, see how He provides the little blessings of a new outfit a nice house. We must desire these things not for our pleasure but for the glory of Him and to bless others. May our hearts ever be turned toward giving. May we desire to live as the church in Acts. May the Father be the Center and the Only in our hearts in our lives in our finances in our churches. For the Father gives and the Father takes away, yet through it all blessed be His name. 

For the Weary...Jesus Weeps

Through many trials, tribulations, and tests, the question often presents 'Where is He?'. Where is The Father? Followed by 'Why?'. Why is He not ending my pain? Why is He allowing this to happen? Why death? Why abuse? Why loss? Why hurt and pain and grief and sorrow?...Why is He not showing up? We cry out in anguish to only feel like our cries are reaching the ceiling or being cried into a great chasm of darkness. And then there is John 11. A story most growing up in the church have heard, a story seen more for its' glorious resurrection of the dead than for the heart of the words in between. We all know the story-Lazarus dies, Jesus weeps, and then Jesus calls him forth from the grave and he is made alive again. Yet, it is what is in the 'in-between' texts that strikes as the heart and truth of the story. The story begins with Martha and Mary sending for Jesus, saying "Lord whom you love is ill." And Jesus responds that this illness will not lead to death but it is for the glory of God and for the Son to be glorified through it. There is enough power in these words alone to blog all day, but Lazarus' illness was given for one reason and one reason only- for the glory of God. This alone brings a comfort to my spirit, my injury, my delayed healing, while painful, while discouraging and at times frustrating, it  could have been given for one reason and one reason only? For the Glory of God? The Lord has been there all the time?? And then the words fill the page and all that we have been taught or all that we have been told to believe are shattered in the next two verses. "Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that Lazarus was ill, He stayed two days longer..." He loved them....so He stayed. As my pastor would say, complete paradigm shift. The Son loved, so He stayed. He could have healed him from where He was; He could have immediately went to be by His side. He could have called 10000 angels to surround his room, yet He stayed. He loved Him so much He knew that by staying and not immediately interceding something greater would happen, something greater would be brought into being, something greater would be written. The Father could have immediately healed me when I was prayed over, the Father could have immediately ended my pain, the Father could have immediately released the power of His Spirit into my body for immediate healing, yet He waited. He waited because He knew that something far greater would be brought into being. The Father could have healed the little body of my infant niece; He could have reached down and brought air back into her lungs; He could have held her heart in His hand and pumped it Himself, yet He knew that something far greater would be brought into being through His bringing her back to Him. Sometimes the Father waits, not because He does not love us, not because He wants us to suffer, but because He knows that by waiting something greater is being moved and grown in us. And He knows that not only will His glory shine through us but He will be able to produce far greater fruit in us by waiting. And then it gets even better. Jesus already knows what He is about to do, The Creator has already planned before time began the ending to this story. The disciples approach Him and Jesus responds, "I am glad for your sake I was not there, so that you may believe." My suffering, my pain, my circumstances not only are bringing glory to Him but they are reaching out to others. The Father may delay not only for my sake but for the sake of others around me. Not only has my injury and my trials affected me but they have affected others. Not only did my niece's death affect my family but it affected so many more Through trials,through her death, the Lord has used it to bring others to believe. I, we, can walk in our trials knowing that our response, our actions, our words through Him, can bring others to believe. Martha approaches Him and professes her faith in Christ, Mary approaches Him, and two of the greatest most powerful words in Scripture are written. "Jesus wept." Jesus saw the pain of His daughters, Jesus saw the pain of His children, and He wept with them. In the midst of my tears, He is crying with me. In the midst of our tears, He is crying with us. While He has, in our minds, delayed a response, delayed an answer, He knows His children are hurting. He knows His children are needing their Father, and He cries with them. Yet He knows the end of the story, He knows that resurrection will come. He knows that rebirth and regeneration will happen, whether here on earth or in Heaven, whether now or in the eternal. He knows that joy will fill the sorrow, that light will fill the darkness. He knows that He will bring glory to the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, and He knows that by waiting, far greater will happen than anything we could imagine. For the weary, Jesus weeps. For the hurting, Jesus weeps. For the broken, abused, battered, injured, sick, Jesus weeps and He knows the end of the story. He has been there with you through it all and He has written an ending far greater than any you could have written. Jesus weeps, Jesus loves, Jesus resurrects. 

Take A Moment To Remember...

As I sit here, thinking of other blogs to write, thinking of the series of writings I am working on about stories, thinking about what I am to give up for Lent,  my thoughts keep wandering back to the word "remember." A few years ago a sweet friend told me, in the midst of all that was going on around her the Lord was calling her to "remember." Remember...at the time I thought what an interesting discipline, remembrance. And now sitting here I have come to see there are these moments, in our lives, where I feel the Lord has us pause...and remember. Moment's where in the midst of all the chaos of life...He...just...wants...us...to...pause. Because where we were and where we are and where we are heading are all converging on this moment...this...single...moment. The moment where we realize that the hardships and failures have led to a joyous moment of gratitude. And just like the Israelites would pause on the riverbank, give thanks for the Lord's provision, and leave an altar of stones for those who came behind to remember, we too must take moments to pause, to remember. and leave our own altars of remembrance. Saturday as I was running a race, a race I never thought I would run again, a race that meant so much more than 3.1 miles, I realized this is the moment. This is the moment where the past two years of questions, the two years of failed treatments culminating in a surgery that no one knew for sure would be successful, the past two years of watching my brave uncle battle ALS that ultimately claimed his life last year right before my surgery and knowing I am blessed to even be walking much less running, the present weeks of training patience and diligence through hurt and pain, and the future possibilities of my life collided. The moment where the hand of the Father was seen from the beginning of this journey to the now; the moment where as I was running up the final hill towards the finish, I could feel the Father taking the load from my leg, taking the load from my heart, and propelling me towards the finish. The moment where in the midst of my arms pumping all I could do was feebly raise my hand in thanks and sing in my head "there You go lifting my load again." The moment where as a song so perfectly puts it "the hurt and the Healer collide." I collided with my Healer, and in that moment the hurt and the pain collided with the Truth and from the collision came an outburst of joy and gratitude, of emotion and tears. This was the moment to remember, the moment to remember how far the Father has brought and how much further the Father is taking. The moment to remember what the Lord has done, remember Who the Lord is, and remember what He is continuing to do. As Lent approaches, this is a season to remember, this is a season to take this time to institute the discipline of remembrance. "Take a moment to remember...."


Great song of remembrance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvdkbBPSx4I

Every Woman Has A Story...

I have a story...every person has a story....every woman has a story...
Someone steps up to the microphone, we think "here it goes again another testimony different than mine. How awesome her story, how boring mine." Someone in the corner begins to cry, "guess her story is the same." Another woman walks out of the room, "guess she is dealing with something similar." "Does anyone have the same story as me?" "Am I the only one who doesn't have something to share?" "Does my story really matter?" "Does God think I am boring?" "No one would want to listen to what I have to say." "I want to know the truth, I am seeking the truth too!" "I'm not outspoken, no one will hear me, no one will see me or notice me, I am not known." "I am not with the women's 'in' crowd." How familiar is this scene? How familiar are these thoughts? How heartbreaking are these lies? The truth is, we all at one point have had these thoughts, have had these questions. The truth is we have each fallen prey to the lies of the evil-one in regards to our stories and women. The truth is stories are important. We all have them. We were each given a story, written before time and it...is... important. 
As I began my career in athletic training, my mom gave me advice, advice I have never forgotten. She explained, I truly never know what my athletes and students may be going through. I do not know what they go home to at night, and I will not unless I take time to know them. A student may be sleeping through my class because he has to work late and stay up all night protecting his siblings; an athlete may not be healing, no matter how well we rehab, only because I am the only one who sees value in her. My mom advised I must know my athletes' stories. And by knowing their stories, I would reach them in ways many cannot. She encouraged me to not look at a class or team roster and listen to what others say, but find out for myself their story. If this is true of me as an athletic trainer, of me as a medical professional, is this not even more true of me as a woman, a woman of faith, a woman desiring to make a difference for Christ? And if my athletes' stories are important, are the stories of the women in the church, my sisters in Christ, not equally as important? 
So why then is one of the most difficult relationships, the relationship between women? Why do we become fearful of sharing among our sisters? Because the world has not helped in fostering this relationship, the world has set standards for women physically emotionally mentally that are impossible to reach. And the world has seeped into the core and heart of the church. The world has created a fear that if we grow to close, we will be hurt. The church has created a fear, by creating segregating programs and unspoken hierarchies, that we have nothing in common. Translating to a fear of being in different places in life thus being rejected. Because of fear, women compare, women are critical, women are cliquey. Through the world and the church, we have been hurt, have been made to feel less, have been attacked, and our relationships have suffered. We as women have fallen to the lies that other women are out to "get us" to ruin us, we have fallen to the lies that having relationships with women will end in drama and pain. How many times have I heard women, even women my age, say they have more friends who are male than female? How sad and how scary. Having professional and personal relationships with males within the context of biblical community and with heart-seeking spiritual discernment are needed. However, outside the relationship one has with their spouse, the deep meaningful truly transparent relationships we need and desire need to be developed through relationships with other women. But fear has driven us away from our sisters, away from other women and when it comes to realizing every woman has a story, we fail.
Titus 2 is adamant about the older teaching the younger about women sharing and learning from each other. And there are multiple scriptures about the importance of sharing, learning, growing, edifying, encouraging others in spirit and in truth. Jesus Himself was interested in the stories of those He reached and in the lives of those He changed, when He changed a life He called them by their story. "You were an adulterer now you are free." "You were blind but now you can see." "You have lived with many men but now you know the One True Man." "You were a murder now you are a fisher of men." Even I myself call my athletes by their stories, "You had a sprained ankle, now you can run again." "You tore your ACL, trust the work we have put in and the rehab we have done, you are healed." "You were on the sideline, now you are in the game." It is time we break down the chains of fear, the bondage of personal pride, the lies of the evil one and live in truth. It is time we as women in the church and the greater body of Christ be a living example to the world of love, support, vulnerability, responsibility, faith. It is time we as women of faith stand up to the world to its' lies and defend what scripture says about each of us, defend what scripture says is truth. It is time we search scripture, search the Word for ourselves and not fall into the habit of what the church calls truth and seek out what is truth, we no longer live confined to what the pulpit says as truth. We have Bibles, we have Truth in our grasp, measure what is said by what the Scripture says. It is time we listen to the stories of our own and applaud all stories, applaud all the ways the Father is moving and the lives that are being transformed, from the simple to the amazing. All stories are equal to the Father, all stories were created by Him through Him and for Him. Every woman has a story and the Father is working through His Son and in partnership with His Spirit to complete a good work in each woman and that work is changing growing being tested and tried until her day of completion. And until that day, her story is one to be heard, to be shared. What a call for women to rise up....every woman has a story....even I have a story...

Do I Have A Story?...(Part 1)

Do I have a story?...to be transparent, for so long I have felt I do not. I have sat through many amazing testimonies; testimonies of how the Lord has saved from drug abuse, alcoholism, sexual abuse, physical abuse; testimonies of women who's mothers aborted them and they survived; testimonies of adoption, redemption, and I have clapped and shouted a Baptist "Amen!" to the work the Father has done and how good He is, but that is not my story. I do not have a blinded by the light, hit by a 2x4, awaken in the middle of the night story. I am not a Paul on the road to Damascus, or a Roman jailer awakened to an earthquake. Rarely, if ever have I heard someone share who's life has been like mine. Occasionally as a teenager, I would wonder, do I need to purposefully do something really bad in order to have a better story? Of course, this sounds ridiculous, and praise God I never did, but these human thoughts these fleshly thoughts have crossed my mind. To make my story even less a story, I do not have a date, I do not even know the exact year (my mom remembers I was 4), and for so long, I was made to feel 'unsaved' because of such. I truly believe from the time I was twelve until about twenty-one I asked Christ to save me at least one hundred times because I had been told I needed a date and a time. Now I am exaggerating on the one hundred but I am saying this to make a simple point: I do not know the hour I do not know the day but I know because He is alive in me and I grow more repulsed by my propensity to sin and more in love with Him each day that is what matters and for so long I fought the lies of the enemy because people in the church made those thoughts real and alive.
But despite knowing I am a follower of Christ, what is my story? Truthfully, I can not recall a time from a podium, pulpit, or stage a testimony of one that resembles mine, when asked to share testimonies, the one's with these amazing stories are chosen. And rightfully so, how powerful their stories! How amazing our Jesus, what the Father Son and Holy Spirit do working together is powerful and miraculous! I truly truly love to hear the stories of all my brothers and sisters around the world.  But the lack of testimonies shared that are similar to mine has caused me to wonder, what is my story? Do I even have a story worth sharing?
Over the last couple of years I have battled this question, I have battled the lies that I do not have a story. It would be boring, if I was to tell my story. My story has no glitz, no wow factor. If I were to write, no one would read and if I were to speak, no one would want to hear. These are all lies, lies we each believe, lies straight from the devil that pierce straight through our hearts. Every story is important, every story is unique, every journey is different, and the journey the Father created uniquely for me before time began is a journey only I can run. There is no shame in having a story that is different, there is no fear in having a story that in my eyes is boring, because the Lord did not create my life to be boring, He took the time and thoughtfully planned every detail of my appearance, every second of my life, every word that I am to say, every thought that I will think, nothing has surprised Him, nothing is not going according to His perfect plan. My God has written my story, He has carved it in the palm of His hand and He is continuing to work in me until my day of completion. My God is Sovereign over even my story...and I am learning to believe, yes, I do have a story, I have a story worth hearing, I have a story worth sharing. And not only do I have a story, but every woman has a story...

The Church's Unspoken Hierarchy...

Every society has a hierarchy of sorts, whether spoken or unspoken, since the beginning, man has relegated themselves to tiers, hierarchies, rungs to climb, and the majority of the tiers one has to climb are based on reaching the next goal, moving to the next chapter in life, making more money, acquiring more knowledge. Society from the time you are born has seemed to map out your predicted future. the next tier you are to reach: you are born, you reach developmental milestones, you attend school, graduate high school, go to college, graduate college, begin a career and at the same time the career is beginning, you are to find love, get married, have children....and etc etc. And as you go from tier to tier, rung to rung, the high school and college you attend, the career you choose, the number of children you have, all have their own hierarchy, their own place in society, one will be relegated to. It is mind boggling and migraine begging and if placed on paper chart confusing the societal hierarchies we have created, and if at any point in life one deviates from the norm, there is much confusion and pressure to return back to the norm.
Unfortunately what I have seen, in the place one should find the most acceptance and peace, is an unspoken hierarchy, that stems from society yet has changed to make itself appear "more spiritual" "more godly." And this is the church's' hierarchy. Education, socioeconomic status, and career choice, while subtly there, do not seem to have affected the church as much as marriage and parental status. Churches have programized and socialized, segregated and relegated their bodies according to marital and parental status and at times have made it seem like a ladder to climb as you travel along your journey. Do you remember promotion Sunday? I do, it was the Sunday where as a child you would stand at the front of the church and be promoted from one Sunday school classroom to the next. (maybe this was a good ole ARP doing!) While as a child it was fun and enjoyable to move from classroom to classroom and it was needed for developmental and social reasons, as an adult the fun is lost and the enjoyment is no more. But it seems there are churches who continue to see weddings, child birth as a form of "promotion Sunday." Once you get married you are now "eligible" to be promoted into the young married couples Sunday school class and Bible study; once you have children you are promoted to the young married with children, etc. and if at any point you find yourself older with young children or older and single or older and no children, you have to navigate your way into figuring out where you fit in, begin to question do you truly belong, and speaking from the heart, begin to feel less of a person because you are not "moving up" the ladder of the church.
Now let me take a brief moment to say, it is extremely important for young couples to have other young couples, and mothers to have other mothers and wives to have other wives and singles to have other singles and I could continue on. I am in no way saying that these relationships are not important nor are not needed. It is extremely important to have others speaking into our lives who have and are living similar journeys. I am purely speaking from my heart, based on the feelings and incidents I have experienced, to the heart of the church and to the desires I have seen and heard spoken over the last 10-15 years from women of all walks of life.
Having been single for 34 years, I have seen women walk the other way as I have walked through lobbies. I have sat alone in seats in sanctuaries watching elders and pastors meet the couples around me and only to be skipped over. I have heard pastors speak of the 'sin of singleness' because in Genesis we are commanded to be fruitful and multiply and man is not to be alone; I have been told I can not attend Bible studies (the only Bible studies offered for women my age) because I am single. I have been the one asked to serve because I am single and have free time, and multiple times I have felt less of an individual based on comments made towards me because I am still in one journey of life and have not moved to the next.
Recently I had the privilege of attending a women's retreat through my church. Women of all ages, all walks of life, all stories, came together for a weekend away. As I looked about the room, most women were married, most had children, some were older, some were younger, and having been in this position before, I was waiting for "it" to happen, the moment someone realizes you are single and either decides not to converse with you or asks married womens' favorite questions of why are you single, you are perfect for someone, where are all the good men, are you dating anyone, followed by the age old, "just wait he will come when you least expect it."  I was waiting to turn and gag and think "here we go again" with my pat answer of I don't know, obviously men do not think I am perfect, I wish I knew where all the good men were, I am not dating anyone, and I have been waiting 34 years I think I know what patient means by now. But "it" never happened, women spoke to me like we had been friends for years; women asked about life what I enjoyed what I loved to do. No one was concerned about my job, my career, my singleness, they were concerned about me. Just me. For the first time, the hierarchy was broken and I looked about a room and saw women loving each other and loving their Father. And I felt like a woman, an equal. Just a woman. Not a single woman. Not a childless woman. Just a woman.
What a treasure and a blessing to see that cycles can be broken that hierarchies can be demolished.  How will this hierarchy continue to be broken in the church, in our lives, and most of all in women? By churches seeing the value of all people regardless of their status, by women taking the time to speak with other women and learning their story, and by not relegating members to certain categories and simply, just simply, doing the one thing we are all commanded to do...."Love the Lord OUR God with ALL our hearts, with ALL our souls, with ALL our strength, and will ALL our minds. And love our neighbors as ourselves."
This friends will break cycles and release freedom to churches to thrive to grow to love to serve and to represent the Kingdom in ways unimaginable. 

Quick Challenge....

As part of a fast at church, I have turned off technology in the mornings and have spent time reading scriptures and searching the Word on various subjects that arise within the church. Raised reformed, visited various denominations, lived in different cultures, been an active member of various denominations, I have always challenged myself to search scripture first then search man's interpretations and to look at the various viewpoints through the eyes of scripture. What does the Word truly say? There is always one subject that divides not unifies believers...baptism...I read this article today and I find it awesome that it is from a father to a daughter, and while he explains and biblically backs his reasons and leads to scripture after scripture, he ends with the challenge to his daughter "you search scripture." I challenge us all, to be searchers of scripture; even if you are a "believer" baptizer not an "infant" baptizer, why do you believe one over the other? Have you searched the others viewpoint? Have you read and actively studied your own? And not just baptism, this just happens to be what I was reading, but any subject, anything you hear from the pulpit, anything you read in a book...be a searcher of the Scriptures, be a reader of the Word, may your eyes be opened to truth after truth by actively participating in the word...Here is the article for those who want to read it:

http://clark.wscal.edu/dejbaptism.php

Dear Aaron..

I set out last January to write a letter to each family member and closest friend on their birthday, I neglected to finish when I neglected to set aside the time to write to you. There is no excuse other than the timing of your birthday coinciding with holidays and work, and time quickly slipped away. So two months later, here I sit, desiring for words to flow and a letter to be written. 

Growing up, as the oldest, I always desired for an older sibling, more specifically, an older brother. The pressures of being the oldest the first to do, the first to say, the one to protect, the one to lead, the one to mend....they were always there, some self-imposed, others imposed by society, most imposed by simply birth order. But inside I always desired an older brother. We all are well aware the Lord works in mysterious ways and He turned the birth order first born world of mine upside down when He brought a young man into my baby sister's life, soon followed by a wedding, and the answer to my desire of having an older brother was given in the form of a younger than I margarita making military Methodist minister! I know the Father likes a good laugh...and I am sure He had a few good chuckles on my behalf. Not only was my world rocked a little off kilter by losing my baby sister and by not being the first to do something but I had lost her to a Methodist minister, and Methodists are known to move! However, I quickly realized that the Lord does work in mysterious ways and that He had given me a brother. Someone who I would quickly grow to love and admire. I first realized how perfect you were for our family when my grandmother passed away a few months after your wedding and you were quick to offer support and offer to speak at her service, I saw you comforting my sister and letting her cry on your shoulder, I saw you sitting with my granddaddy and just "being" with him. Soon after, the joy of a newborn rang in the air and I again realized you were perfect for our family as you begin to prepare for your firstborn, letting Christy decorate and enjoy the moment but secretly smiling as you looked over the baby clothes and nursery. Watching you hold Emeline and the joy that she brought to your face, there was no doubt you were given at just the write time, to just the right family. And when joy turned to sadness, I watched as a young minister of the Gospel, now had to figure out for himself the truth of the Gospel He so fervently had preached. I watched with awe as you carried the casket of your firstborn child to her final resting place, never wavering, with strength dignity and peace. I watched as you struggled to find truth in the ashes of hurt and pain. And you were young, too young to have had to handle burying your child before you, too young, so I never questioned the way you handled things, I never looked on you with judgment or resentment, I never doubted you or your faith. Because no one, no one knows how they are going to respond to such a hellacious time until they have walked there themselves. But you rose, from the ashes, and I still have in my Bible a message you preached the following year on the problem with pain, and I still can remember hearing you preach with a strength that can only come from the hope you had stored up for you in the message of the Gospel. And now, I watch as you bring joy to your home, as the girls run to you and love you, as James looks at you with his big beautiful eyes and just smiles as he sees you, as you make my sister laugh and smile. You are perfect for this family. And you are perfect as a brother....you have spent time helping with my finances, calling the cable company (which in and of itself is worthy of praise!) advice with job, moving, you have pushed me to run better, faster harder, and while I know that this letter along with many other instances will one day come back to haunt me in the form of a wedding homily (Lord willing), I thank you. Thank you for loving my family, loving my sister, loving my nieces, my nephew, and yes for loving me. 

So a couple months later and a month into the new year, I challenge you. You like myself are a doer of the Word, we do for others before we do for ourselves. If there is a need, we want to meet it. If there is something that needs to be done, we want to do it. And yes, living out the Gospel in the form of doing and actions is important. We are called to be doers and not hearers only. However, we are also called to be still, be still and know....be still and listen...be still and rest. Like Martha I want everything to be perfect, I want to do, and do, and do, and there is nothing wrong with doing. But sometimes, we need to stop realize our worthiness and sit at His feet and just be. So I challenge you this year, to be. To make it a discipline, to make it a habit, to take the time whether early in the morning or late at night, to just be still....be still and know...be still and hear...be still and rest. The Father desires time with His son, while He is pleased at the doing, He desires the being. So as I challenge myself to just be this year, as I challenge myself to take time to do less and to 'be' more...I challenge you as well. I am learning that in the being I receive the strength for the doing, that in the being I receive the direction for the doing, that in the being I receive the rest needed to 'do'. 

I bless you this year, in all that you do, that you see the Father changing you more like His Son, that you have strength to do but patience to be. You are loved...