Mirror, mirror on the wall....I am the fairest of them all?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, I want to be slender, I want to be tall...you define who I will be today, you define my looks my shape...."Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am the fairest of them all?"

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Self-image, we all struggle with it, we all want to portray a certain image, we all want to look a certain way, be a certain way, we all want to be accepted. And what truly is acceptance? Do we define it by the world's standards or by the Word's standards? And what is truly self-image? It is a word made of two parts-"self" and "image"....but scripture says I was created in HIS image. So, how can can my own image, my self-image be that which it is when clearly scripture is saying I was created in HIS image to portray HIM? There is a battle waging in my mind, in my life, and it is waging even harder in the world and the lives of those around me. The battle between the flesh and the Spirit, the battle between me becoming like the world and me becoming like the WORD, the battle between man's approval and the Lord's approval, the battle between diet, exercise, looking a certain way, talking a certain way, acting a certain way, being a certain way, and being who the Lord has created us to be, the battle between my self-image (or lack their of) and the image of Him being portrayed in me. Image encompasses so many different aspects, but while we ALL struggle, our outward appearance is what is seen, what unfortunately is the defining aspect of so many other parts of our image....

It starts at a young age, we see images and we want to look like them. The world around us begins to determine what we deem as beautiful and what we deem as undesirable. As we were sitting watching my niece's first ever Disney princesses movie, my sister and I talked about the images the world portrays. Am I hurting my daughter letting her watch Disney princesses' movies? Am I sheltering her too much by not letting her watch them? What image do I want to portray to my daughter in how I walk, talk, dress? Every parent has to debate these issues, and as we continue to go through life, every adult has to debate these issues. Am I hurting myself by reading this magazine, am I comparing myself to others? Is what I am listening to or watching creating an image in my head I can not obtain? We are inundated with images of what we should be, of what we need to look like, which has led men to desire the unachievable and unrealistic body type and looks in women and women to desire to be and look like that which is unrealistic for them, their body types, and truly for any woman in general. "But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”

How many times are we too afraid to look in the mirror because we are afraid of the image we may see? We barely crack open the door, we sneak a glimpse, and our minds are flooded with thoughts. We are forced to diet plans, exercise plans, better beauticians, better makeup, better clothes. We seek out man (literally and figuratively) and man's approval in our appearance. We workout with men or spend time with men because deep down we know they will compliment us, they make us feel good about ourselves. We make comments because we know people will comment back. We want longer legs, shorter legs, skinnier legs, bigger legs, skinnier waists, bigger waists, curly hair, straight hair, smaller noses, bigger noses, no freckles, some freckles, tanner skin, lighter skin, bigger feet, smaller feet, is the list ridiculous yet? 
Before I continue, I truly feel that we are to take care of our bodies. The Lord has only given us this one body, this is the one thing we can truly say is our own, and I believe Scripture definitely points us to take care of our bodies. We are not to be gluttonous, lazy, sluggards. I believe we are to eat healthy, exercise routinely, and dress appropriately. Why? Because everything we do and everything we say is to bring glory to HIS name! We bring Him glory when we take care of our bodies. When our diet, our exercise, our lives match up to what His word is saying. Why do you feel better when you eat healthy, when you exercise, when you get enough sleep, when you are dressed nicely? Because that is how your body, your innermost being was created, in the image of the Lord, to bring Him glory. The problem comes when we use the world to define what true beauty is, when we use the world to define who we are. The problem comes when we let the "demons" in our head tell us we are that which we aren't. The problem comes when we let our diet, our exercise, our dress define who we are and not the image of the Lord portrayed through us. There in lies the ultimate issue...who is defining us? "But now thus says the LORD,  he who created you,he who formed you O Israel, Fear not for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine."

We are HIS, He formed us, He created us. No longer should we be defined by what a magazine says..."And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good."

Everything He made, He looked at and said it was GOOD! No longer should we defined by our diet, by what we eat... 

Or what we are afraid to eat....We eat to bring Him glory!! "Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified."

I will run the race, I will take care of my body, I will exercise daily not because the world tells me to look a certain way, but because the Lord desires me to be healthy, so that in everything I do, whether it is a competition or whether it is exercising as fellowship, it brings HIM glory!

We are called to be disciplined, to be self-controlled, to not run aimlessly, but to do so with a purpose. I will be disciplined in my diet, disciplined in my exercise, disciplined and have self control in everything I do, but my heart will be changed. The fruit of the Spirt includes self-control but no longer will I be constrained by what I am or am not doing based on what the world is telling me...but I will exercise because it brings glory to HIM!

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you."

I was on Pinterest last night and a friend had posted this video. Amazing how the Lord times things...what a poignant and powerful song...this journey is my own, this body is my own, but it was created in the IMAGE of the Lord Almighty. Every detail, every freckle, every part of who I am, was created by HIS hands, and I will not be defined by the world, but I want to be transformed and defined by HIS WORD...So...

Mirror, mirror, on the wall...I am changing my song, I am chaining my tune, no longer will I see the image of me, instead I will see the image of HE....."Mirror I am seeing a new reflection, I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me, and to Him I have beauty beyond compare, I know He defines me."

How big...or small...is your box?

I look at the outline of her face, in the glow of the sun, early morning, the small little nose, perfect little lips, she has already climbed in my arms, given me a good morning hug, now she is studying the television...I think back to the feeling I had the first time I held her big sister...

And I think about how big her little sister is getting....

And my thoughts turn back to the moment, as she sits there, not knowing what lies ahead of her, not knowing how hard the world may be, she just understands the moment, sitting next to her Aunt, cuddling on the sofa, watching TV. I have promised her and her sisters, as I have held them, I have whispered in their ears, "Im going to protect you, no one is going to hurt you." But I know those aren't promises I can keep. She will be hurt, her little sister will be hurt, I won't always be there to protect them. This week, I realized something, something I have been pondering on and mulling over for a while, we have done a disservice to our children by not teaching them to see how BIG our Lord really is. We have created a church full of people who have taken the Lord and placed Him in a box. We have tried to protect them, tried to help them fit into a cookie cutter mold so they look like everyone else, so their lives turn out like ours did or like we think they "should" turn out. We have turned to man-made doctrine, self-help books on raising children, dating, and relationships. We have neglected truth from scriptures, taken what is said from the pulpit or from the youth retreat as truth, and what has happened is they turn around, are in their thirties, still single, or already divorced, and they feel like they are abnormal, not accepted, and are determined there must be something wrong with them. 

As I sit there, I am still thinking through all of this. My mind wanders to the sovereignty of the Lord. We are quick to say the Lord is sovereign, the Lord can do all things, can be all things. We are quick to accept certain aspects and principles of Scriptures, but when it comes down to truly believing can the Lord do ANYTHING and the Lord is over ALL THINGS, we make exceptions. The lid was blown off my box 4 and 1/2 years ago when my niece passed away at 7 weeks old, it was at that moment where I came to understand either the Lord is in control of ANYTHING and ALL THINGS that happen in life, either He is completely SOVEREIGN, or someone else has just as much power in my life as He, and I have no doubt Scripture points to the absolute, complete sovereignty of the Lord. I continue to think, "How big, or how small, is my box?" But then I stop, and I think the real question is "What in my life is causing me to put the Lord in a box?

I begin to put the Lord in a box, when I begin to put man, man-made doctrine and thought, and what the church feels I should be or where I should be in life over what the Lord says in His Word. When I begin to take what the Preacher is saying as truth and not challenge it with what the Word says; when I put my acceptance in others and others opinions and not in the Lord's acceptance. When I put more value in the doctrine of the church and the denomination I attend, over the Word of God itself and the church as the whole and complete unified bride of Christ. When I allow the Lord to be sovereign in some areas of my life (work, career, buying houses, buying cars) but not in other areas of my life (finances, family, choosing friends, wisdom in friendships, dating, meeting people, relationship advice). When I limit the Lord's ability to move and work in my life, because I am basing my life on everyone else's lives. When my world becomes smaller, my Lord becomes smaller. 

The Lord wants us to realize how GREAT and BIG He is and stop putting Him in these little boxes. Is theology important? YES!! Is doctrine important? YES!! But are we leaning on doctrine or are we leaning on Scripture? Are we teaching our children the Bible or are we teaching our children the Preacher? Are we seeking the Lord's will or just knowledge of the Lord? I have a burden now, an even greater one, to show my children and my friends this truth in Scriptures...our journeys are our uniquely and distinctly our own! The Lord can use ANYTHING and ANY means because HE IS SOVEREIGN. You will be hurt, you will have hard times, but the Lord is still God and He is still bigger. I want them and everyone to see scripture for scripture not for what they hear on Sunday. I want them to accept every believer (and nonbeliever) single, married, children, no children, different races, different cultures. I want to teach them the true Kingdom of Christ here on the earth, and if their journey turns out different than someone else's then thank the Lord He saw something in them He didn't see in another person. If they end up on the mission field, single and feeding orphans, if they end up with careers that take them around the United States, if they meet their spouse on match.com or by other nontraditional means, if they end up married at 20 and with children at 22, if they end up with no money and barely making it or with millions, whatever journey the Lord has for them, I will be thankful because I know that He has directed their steps and their paths and they will not go a day without knowing He is Lord over ALL. And I thank the Lord we are all unique and amazing creations of our Creator.

So instead of whispering to my nieces as they sleep, "I will not let anyone hurt you." I am going to start whispering, "I will not let you go a day you do not know how BIG our God is. I want your journey in life, your love story, your life's story to be whatever the Lord wants, and I will do whatever it takes to show you, how big, how faithful, and how great He is!"

I look out the window the sun is shining brighter, I look back at her, she's moved to the floor, sun is still shining off her face, a ray of hope, that her journey will be her own, that no matter what happens in life, whether she is single, married, has financial difficulties, has children, has a career, or is a stay at home mom, her journey is in the hands of her Creator, and while she may at moments put the Lord in a box, I am now determined she will never go a day without knowing "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV) and without grasping "so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." (Ephesians 3:17-21 ESV) This journey is our own....and the Lord wants our boxes to be flung be wide open, in fullness, and in blessing!

Waiting?....on what, the world to change??

  "So, why aren't you married?" "Are you not dating anyone?" "They will come when you least expect it, when you aren't looking, when you are ready..." "Just wait! The Lord will send you someone...." "Guard your heart..." The list goes on; I have heard every comment, been asked every question, and not once but MULTIPLE times. Before I begin, I will simply state, from every single individual in the church, no, make that the world, STOP ASKING STUIPD QUESTIONS; you are going to start receiving stupid answers, and please stop making us try to feel better by your ridiculous statements. We are not dying, in fact the majority of us are quite content and happy right where we are. Trust me by the time you reach your thirties, you aren't expecting it, you really aren't "looking, " and if you aren't ready by then, you never will be. So now that the important part of this blog is behind us, I truly have things on my heart to share.
  I spent the afternoon talking to a wonderful friend of mine. She is an amazing woman in her thirties, single, but living and loving life; she loves the Lord, values her faith, but isn't buying into the teachings and "advice" the church gave us as youth, and I must say I agree with her.
  Growing up in the church, we were taught to guard our hearts. We were raised to believe you go to college, you get married, you have children. You made a list at the age of 14, of the qualities you wanted in a husband. (Please tell me what 14 year old truly knows the qualities they are looking for in a spouse, I guarantee each list was the same: funny, loves the Lord, goes to church, has a job, makes money etc) Then you grow up, you look around the church, and you realize how many churches have become cookie cutter churches. I myself have been a part of a congregation that felt very cookie cutter like; everyone was married, had multiple(or multitudes of) children, and if you weren't married or didn't fit into this mold you were looked upon as different; you were made to feel you were not living in the Lords will, and you definitely were not accepted. (and the way the church treats those who do not fit their mold will be addressed in another message!) As I've reached my thirties, I have pondered: "How do you know the Lord's will for my life?" "Is everyone's journey in life supposed to look the same?"and "What am I waiting for, the world to change?"

  I challenge people to think, there is no way the Lord's will is to have cookie cutter individuals with each persons life and journey being the same. The Lord works and moves in each persons life and in different ways. When it comes to marriage, not everyones' story will be the same. I have been single until now because there are things I needed to do, places I needed to be that the Lord could only accomplish by my singleness. Can the Lord drop someone in my lap at any time? Yes! Can I meet someone in the more traditional ways? Yes! But can the Lord use other means, be it the internet, speed dating, match sites, or any other nontraditional means? YES! Why do we feel we are going outside the Lord's will by having a journey and a story that's different than everyone else's? Why are we waiting when the Lord is a God that calls us to action? If I am following what I feel is the Lord's will, then the Lord will use and can use ANY means that He desires. But He calls me to action, not to passivity.

  As I was growing up, I was told that you continue moving, continue going through open doors, until the Lord tells you to stop. Each decision I made in life I prayed over and I truly sought the Lord's will and desires. When it came to college and graduate school, I applied to multiple schools. When it came to work, I applied to multiple jobs. When it came to moving, I looked at various positions. When it came to buying a car and buying my home, I researched, looked through many homes, test drove many cars. I filled out multiple applications, I put together a resume, I went on interviews, I went into action and I moved through doors until the Lord either said stop or keep going. So, why when it comes to dating and relationships do we think we can not ACT? Why do we think that we are not doing the Lord's will by going on match.com, Christian mingle if you're single, eharmony or any other nontraditional means? Why do we feel we must wait around, twiddling our thumbs, hoping we run into our future husband at the grocery story or at church, instead of placing ourselves in positions to meet people, and maybe even learn a few things along the way(as in the real qualities we are looking for in a husband)? We aren't pursuing men or marriage, we are making ourselves available, we are using another means to meet people. Again can the Lord use traditional means, yes, but can He use any means He desires, YES, and we can not be worried about having a story that is different. Thank the Lord my life's story has been different! Thank the Lord, He has not placed me in a cookie cutter story line. I look to scripture in times of doubting and I found this passage: "So she WENT down to the threshing floor and did just as her mother-in-law had commanded her. And when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain. Then she came softly and uncovered his feet and LAY DOWN. At midnight the man was startled and turned over, and behold, a woman lay at his feet! He said, “Who are you?” And she answered, “I am Ruth, your servant. Spread your wings over your servant, for you are a redeemer.”" (Ruth 3 ESV) Thank the Lord Ruth put herself into action and went to lay at the feet of Boaz, who was not the first in line of her kinsman redeemers, she made herself available, her story was not like everyone else's, and her story didn't end like everyone else's, read Matthew...she is in the lineage of Jesus!

  So many of us have been in dead in jobs, dead in relationships, or we feel like we have been moving at a 20mph pace....or the Lord has been moving at a 20mph pace. But maybe He's been waiting for us to act, for us to take a step and move forward or maybe He is just writing a story line that is different than any one else's, maybe He sees something in us that we do not see in ourselves and He knows He can use us in greater means as single than He can as married. Remember earlier, I asked "How do you know the Lord's will for my life?" Instead of others worrying about knowing the Lord's will for my life, I must pursue what I feel is the Lord's desire. If I am on match, or Christian mingle if you're single, or any other nontraditional means, I will know if I am in His will because Scripture clearly gives me direction. The Lord is not a Lord of chaos, confusion, doubt, worry, frustration, fear, busyness, physical and emotional roller coasters, and heartache, but HE is the Lord who is in ALL things, and He is a Lord of peace, comfort, guidance, wisdom, discernment, love, and patience. Instead of worrying about what others think, instead of waiting for someone to be dropped in my lap, I want to be a woman of action, of making myself available to any means the Lord may use in filling the desires of my heart. He knows my heart, He knows my desires! 

  Instead of worrying about guarding my heart, instead of worrying about being hurt, I need to put aside all fears and worries, and meet people, get to know people, not worry about the what if's, and make myself available. There are moments when I must guard my heart, yes, I know that from my heart flows everything else in life, but the passage is found in Proverbs and in the context of the verses around it, is dealing with keeping our path straight, our speech free from corruption, keeping our eyes fixed on Him, His word in our hearts, and surrounding ourselves with those who are believers, not unbelievers. The whole chapter is on guarding yourself from becoming like the world but it does not point directly to dating and marriage. We can keep ourselves from becoming more like the world, by surrounding ourselves with believers, but we can not keep ourselves from heartache. Do you not make friends out of fear of being hurt? No, that is ridiculous. But how many times have we had to let friendships go, or we have had to change our relationships with people because it wasn't what the Lord truly desired. Being friends, making friends takes discernment, and if we enter into friendships and pursue relationships that the Lord is not desiring, or that the Lord is wanting us in for reasons other than what we desire, if we are in tune with His Spirit, we soon will realize the Lord desires a change. How do we know the Lord's will in friendships? By the statement I made earlier, the qualities of the Lord, we look back over the friendship with a discerning spirit, and with the Lord's unveiling and revealing. Is it easy to change friendships after they have started, no! but is it something the Lord may require of us yes! So do we not make friends, do we not pursue friendships? NO! We pursue them with discernment not fear! So why can the same principles not be applied with dating relationships? Women, we are emotional beings, and that emotion transcends all we do and say. Every relationship, every job, every moment of every day, we are emotional, but we can not keep living in fear and we can not keep living in acceptance of others and the world. If Ruth had worried about being hurt, if Ruth had let her fears dictate her actions, then history would have been written differently. But the Lord knew all along one woman was called to action, which led to another woman being called to action in Mary, talk about fears and worries, and acting in faith! 

  "Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases..." (Song of Solomon, ESV) Each relationship we enter into may not be who we marry, we may be hurt, but just as each job we enter into teaches us, just as each decision in life, grows us, changes us, each relationship will as well, but if we enter into relationships with the Lord's will and desires as our focus, then no matter what,if He desires us to be married, He will awaken true love and the "right" person at the right time. Am I actively pursuing anything nontraditional? Not currently, but it is definitely in the forefront of my mind! Am I going to not live life and not enjoy the season He has me in? NO! This year 2012 is a year of action, a year of awakening of my soul, a year of being joyful in the Lord, and counting my blessings. This journey in life is my own....and He is writing my own story, my own love story...and when the time comes, He will add a godly man to my journey, until then, may He use me in my singleness, and may I become a woman of action!

Awake My Soul

Over the past couple of weeks, I have read every blog, every devotional, heard every sermon, listened to friends talk...and every blog, devotional, sermon, and talk has been on one thing-changing in the new year. It's that time of year when resolutions are made and quickly broken, when there is a lot of talk and in the beginning a lot of action. I'm going to exercise, lose weight, feel better, study harder, make time for myself, make time for my family, make time for my best friend, make time for the Lord....and the list goes on. 

And then treadmills stop moving and exercise equipment begins to gather dust....We close our books and slip right back into our old study habits...The newness and desires to change soon FADE and we are left standing in the middle of a room surrounded yet again by the CHAOS and CONFUSION that led us to the desire to CHANGE in the first place. As I sit here ten days into the new year, I think to myself....How can I truly make this year different?  
I begin with this weekend. I had an amazing weekend in Charleston with family friends. A great weekend of blessing-welcome homes, laughter, tears, moments of great conversations, and moments of silence. While it was a weekend away at the beginning of the year, it came at the right moment and the Lord had His reasons for the trip. And then yesterday hits, Monday, the best day of the week....and all the WORRIES, FEARS, and ANXIETIES of situations flooded my mind. Today, I physically am feeling sick, hopefully not on the verge of some wonderful sickness, I mentally am drained....and I think to myself "Lord its only day 10....seriously??" How can I make this year different?? I can't even make it to day 10!!

And then a text this morning reminded me to keep fixed on Him and His provisions and I am quickly reminded of Scriptures...."So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day."(2 Corinthians 4:16 ESV) "But this I call to mind, and therefore I have HOPE: The STEADFAST love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:21-23 ESV) "My heart is steadfast, O God! I will sing and make melody with all my being! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn! I will give thanks to you, O LORD, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your STEADFAST love is great above the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the clouds." (Psalm 108:1-4 ESV) "Every GOOD gift and every PERFECT gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." (James 1:17 ESV)

This year will only be different if I make each day different! I will not change, the desires of my heart will remain desires, I will not be healthier, I will continue in busyness, continue in unfulfilling jobs neglecting the passions of my heart, I will not make more time for the Lord, make more time for my family, my best friend, change my attitude, make the changes the Lord wants in my life, if EACH day I am not taking the time to RENEW my inner self, if EACH day I am not realizing the MERCIES of the Lord are new, if EACH day I am not AWAKENING my soul to the faithfulness and goodness of the Lord, if EACH day I do not realize BLESSINGS from the Father and He does not change.

Each day I neglect fellowship with the Lord is malnutrition to my soul, is a day where I am not being renewed, where my soul is not being awakened. I can not and will not know the voice of the Lord, the desires of the Lord, what actions I am to take if I am not awakening my soul each day to Him and His Word. I pray that this year is the year that I and those I am closest to realize the awesomeness of the Lord, that we follow Him wholeheartedly where He is leading, that we do not fear change but embrace it, that we let Him lead, and that we do not worry about our own needs, our own wants, but we focus on Him. This journey is my own....but I have the accountability of amazing women of faith who remind me to stay fixed on Him and He will provide. 

Can Best Friends be Forever?

I had just laid down, checked the score on my phone, I hear the door open and a voice says in the darkness, "Hey, I'm really sorry..." A look on my face, causing doubt and frustration, it had been taken the wrong way, led to an honest "Will you accept my apology?"...A letter written and read to me a few years ago, that led to "I am so sorry..." and changed my perspective on friendship...
As a child we trade charm bracelets, you remember the hearts that were broken in the middle? One of the friends would take one piece of the heart, the other friend would take the second piece. This is how you declared your friendship, how you let everyone know..."This is my best friend!" And you probably received multiple charms, from multiple "BFFs."

Funny, how time changes your perspective on life and on friendships, but as I am getting older, what I once thought to be false, I now believe is true. You can truly be best friends forever. Why do we question this concept? I would dare say it is because in our society nothing lasts- you get upset with your spouse, you get a divorce and find a new one; your friend frustrates you, you let them go. Your car hits a mile marker, replace it. Our society has led us to believe nothing, be it money, fame, relationships, love, nothing lasts, and if you want something different then go for it, replace it and move on. The grass is always greener....commitment is no longer in our vocabulary.  Can best friends be forever? 

In order to answer this question, I first turn toward scripture and what scripture characterizes as true godly friendship. 

     -True friends will be in the Word, studying the Word, sharing the Word, and grounded in a love for the Word.     

     (Psalm 119:63, Prov 13:20) 

     -True friends will pray without ceasing for each other and confess their sins to each other (James 5:16) 

     - True friends will be those we know are reliable and will be there in all circumstances no matter what the cost. 

     (Prov 18:24) 

     -True friends serve each other and look to each others interest over their own (Phil 2:3-4) 

     -True friends love; I have found only two people the Lord says to give our lives for Himself and our friends.

     (John 15:13) 

     -True friends listen, care, and encourage. (1 Thes 5:11) 

     - True friends will tell the truth even when it hurts because of their love for each other.  (Prov 27:6) 

     -True friends are few in number, as we study scripture we see the Lord was about quality not quantity. We are 

     called to serve many and love many but we are also guided to be close to few. (Prov 18:24) 

As I think back throughout life, there have been many whom I could call true friends, and praise the Lord for the blessings of their friendships but there are few who can truly be called, best friend. Old  concept-someone we spend a lot of time with, have fun with,share life with, share common interests with, and a true friend. New concept-A best friend is a lot like a marriage. It takes time, it takes commitment, it takes communication, a willingness to give and take, it takes serving the other wholeheartedly, setting aside yourself for their interests, it takes a willingness to listen when they correct, a desire to change, and an openness and vulnerability that is not to be shared with many and shouldn't be shared with many.  It takes not keeping a record of wrong, not assuming they have other motives, it takes complete trust, complete belief in them. It takes realizing that not everyone is a best friend, not everyone should be a best friend. It takes discernment and prayer. A best friend is someone you are proud to be with, proud to let others know about. You do not act differently towards them around others, you are who you are and they are who they are. A best friend, as they should be, is privy to certain life events and moments that others will not. They are someone who experiences life with you, and through all things are there. A best friend is the person who, next to your spouse, knows you the best. 

I think back to the original question: Can best friends be forever? I thought of this analogy the other night. Scripture says that broad is the path that leads to destruction but narrow is the path that leads to life. Scripture also states He will make straight our path. So if our path is to be straight and narrow, there is not much room on this path. There will be people coming and going throughout our life. They will enter in at certain seasons and exit in others. They may be close friends, good friends, acquaintances, or people we meet briefly. But the Lord has brought them in to our life for a reason. And then I look at the path and I realize, there will be those few people that will last forever, and few it has to be because our path is narrow,  our family, our spouse, and yes, I believe our best friend. I believe the Lord can send those people who's friendship will transcend all distance, life experiences, and time. They will know when to walk in front of us, when to walk behind us, and when to walk beside us. Those people who with perseverance and commitment can truly be best friends forever.

As friends come in go in life, if you meet people and you know they have a best friend, thank the Lord. Realize the Lord has blessed them, do not try to replace that which the Lord has already given. The Lord has already given them the best friend they need. Just like when I meet someone who is married, I do not try to be their spouse to them, the Lord has already blessed them. (A little crazy of an analogy but trying to make the point) Do not become discouraged, be encouraged the Lord has blessed them, has given you an opportunity to invest, and instead focus on who the Lord has blessed you with.  Too many times we try to be and try to pursue paths on our own and forget to focus on the path and the blessings the Lord has already laid before us. If you have a best friend, pray for them, encourage them daily. Be patient with them, love is patient, slow to anger. Realize the blessing you have in them. Be proud of them, not in a boastful manner, but in a humble thank you Jesus for this blessing, I want the world to know who you have given me as my best friend. Acknowledge who they are and the position they share in your life and share them with the world around. 

So I am sure by now, the thought has crossed the mind..."What does the opening paragraph have to do with any of this?" Because everyday I am understanding the concept of best friend, because everyday I am realizing that the closer I become to someone the better we should be for each other, but the closer I become to someone the more they know and see my faults/sins and the more I know and see theirs. Just like a spouse, you see their quirks, but instead of being like the world and looking for the greener grass, or something/someone to replace, I want to persevere, I want to commit, I want to work hard and be the best friend forever. And I believe it is possible and He has placed me in the relationships necessary to be best friends forever. This journey is my own, but He has given me people who can be there with me on the narrow path that leads to complete life in Him. Thank you Jesus!!

The Journey Only I Can Run

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained." (Phil 3:12-16 ESV)
As I look back on 2011 and look forward to 2012, this verse is what came to mind. What a year 2011 was...it was up and down and all around. If I were to continue to look back, I would get discouraged and frustrated, filled with hurt and pain, but instead I chose to strain forward to what is lying ahead, continue to press on for the prize He is calling me to. I can look back and remember, which is needed at times, a time of REMEMBRANCE, but I must PERSEVERE forward into this new year. A few things have struck me as the year ended....

We are called to forget what lies behind and press on to what lies ahead. However, God does call us to REMEMBER. To look back and seek those milestones in our lives from the year behind us....What did the Lord try to teach us? What events did He place in our lives good and bad to try to get our attention? If we stay where we are doing what we are doing what are we going to become in the future? The Lord does whatever He can to break us until He has our complete attention, He tries to reveal to us the things He is desiring for us to know, and unveil our eyes to the obstacles keeping us from hearing Him, but He requires us to ACT. We can not just sit and REMEMBER,we can not just HEAR, but we must ACT. In this new year, I pray I become a woman of ACTION.

One thing in scripture is the Lord is always calling His people to MOVE FORWARD, even if they are unsure of where they are to go. Abraham, Moses, Paul...all had to move forward with little knowledge of what the Lord was calling them to do. During this season and with epiphany approaching, I think of the wisemen. They had a star, and they knew it was different, and they followed it to the Christ child. They went FORWARD even when they were unsure what lay ahead. So should I, I can not live in fear of the unknown, I can not live in fear of being hurt again or being disappointed, I must move forward in FAITH, knowing that every thing in my life is to bring GLORY to the Lord. I can enter this new year with CONFIDENCE that He will RESTORE in me the JOY of His salvation and that He will CREATE in me a new heart. In this new year, I pray I become of woman of FAITH, CONFIDENCE, and JOY....not fear, worry, and anxiety.

As I move into the new year, I want my FOCUS to be on Him. I want my desire to be that He be BORN in me. I have heard this analogy multiple times through this season and I love it. I want to bear the stretch marks of my Savior, I want to know the labor pains of life, I want to make my heart Bethlehem. As a song says: "Trembling heart, somehow I believe that You chose me, I’ll hold you in the beginning, You will hold me in the end, Every moment in the middle,make my heart your Bethlehem, be born in me."I pray I become a woman who bears the stretch marks of my Savior.

My best friend and I share a common passion for music. Throughout our friendship, as we heard songs we would pass them on for the other to hear. Over the last month, the Lord has increased this sharing and deepened our relationship. As He speaks to one of us, He is speaking to the other and music has been a means of His speaking to each of us. A song she shared with me "This Journey is My Own" by Sara Groves has resonated in both our souls. How often do I seek man's approval, do I live for man, do I try to make a good impression, but pleasing the world has just broken me down. And when I stand before the Lord, I will stand ALONE. This journey of life, this race I am running is my OWN. I will be held accountable in the end, I will stand before the throne ALONE. I want to live this year for an Audience of One. I can not do it alone, no, I need accountability, I need encouragement, I need care, I need confrontation in love, but I can only run the race of my life. No one else can do what He has called me to do. I have the people in my life to support me, I have the people in my life to point me to the cross....and I have the One in my life that will carry me through the rest of my journey. It is a New Year, with new opportunities, second chances, rejuvenated relationships...but the same Faithfulness. 
Happy New Year Friends!