As a child we trade charm bracelets, you remember the hearts that were broken in the middle? One of the friends would take one piece of the heart, the other friend would take the second piece. This is how you declared your friendship, how you let everyone know..."This is my best friend!" And you probably received multiple charms, from multiple "BFFs."
Funny, how time changes your perspective on life and on friendships, but as I am getting older, what I once thought to be false, I now believe is true. You can truly be best friends forever. Why do we question this concept? I would dare say it is because in our society nothing lasts- you get upset with your spouse, you get a divorce and find a new one; your friend frustrates you, you let them go. Your car hits a mile marker, replace it. Our society has led us to believe nothing, be it money, fame, relationships, love, nothing lasts, and if you want something different then go for it, replace it and move on. The grass is always greener....commitment is no longer in our vocabulary. Can best friends be forever?
In order to answer this question, I first turn toward scripture and what scripture characterizes as true godly friendship.
-True friends will be in the Word, studying the Word, sharing the Word, and grounded in a love for the Word.
(Psalm 119:63, Prov 13:20)
-True friends will pray without ceasing for each other and confess their sins to each other (James 5:16)
- True friends will be those we know are reliable and will be there in all circumstances no matter what the cost.
(Prov 18:24)
-True friends serve each other and look to each others interest over their own (Phil 2:3-4)
-True friends love; I have found only two people the Lord says to give our lives for Himself and our friends.
(John 15:13)
-True friends listen, care, and encourage. (1 Thes 5:11)
- True friends will tell the truth even when it hurts because of their love for each other. (Prov 27:6)
-True friends are few in number, as we study scripture we see the Lord was about quality not quantity. We are
called to serve many and love many but we are also guided to be close to few. (Prov 18:24)
As I think back throughout life, there have been many whom I could call true friends, and praise the Lord for the blessings of their friendships but there are few who can truly be called, best friend. Old concept-someone we spend a lot of time with, have fun with,share life with, share common interests with, and a true friend. New concept-A best friend is a lot like a marriage. It takes time, it takes commitment, it takes communication, a willingness to give and take, it takes serving the other wholeheartedly, setting aside yourself for their interests, it takes a willingness to listen when they correct, a desire to change, and an openness and vulnerability that is not to be shared with many and shouldn't be shared with many. It takes not keeping a record of wrong, not assuming they have other motives, it takes complete trust, complete belief in them. It takes realizing that not everyone is a best friend, not everyone should be a best friend. It takes discernment and prayer. A best friend is someone you are proud to be with, proud to let others know about. You do not act differently towards them around others, you are who you are and they are who they are. A best friend, as they should be, is privy to certain life events and moments that others will not. They are someone who experiences life with you, and through all things are there. A best friend is the person who, next to your spouse, knows you the best.
I think back to the original question: Can best friends be forever? I thought of this analogy the other night. Scripture says that broad is the path that leads to destruction but narrow is the path that leads to life. Scripture also states He will make straight our path. So if our path is to be straight and narrow, there is not much room on this path. There will be people coming and going throughout our life. They will enter in at certain seasons and exit in others. They may be close friends, good friends, acquaintances, or people we meet briefly. But the Lord has brought them in to our life for a reason. And then I look at the path and I realize, there will be those few people that will last forever, and few it has to be because our path is narrow, our family, our spouse, and yes, I believe our best friend. I believe the Lord can send those people who's friendship will transcend all distance, life experiences, and time. They will know when to walk in front of us, when to walk behind us, and when to walk beside us. Those people who with perseverance and commitment can truly be best friends forever.
As friends come in go in life, if you meet people and you know they have a best friend, thank the Lord. Realize the Lord has blessed them, do not try to replace that which the Lord has already given. The Lord has already given them the best friend they need. Just like when I meet someone who is married, I do not try to be their spouse to them, the Lord has already blessed them. (A little crazy of an analogy but trying to make the point) Do not become discouraged, be encouraged the Lord has blessed them, has given you an opportunity to invest, and instead focus on who the Lord has blessed you with. Too many times we try to be and try to pursue paths on our own and forget to focus on the path and the blessings the Lord has already laid before us. If you have a best friend, pray for them, encourage them daily. Be patient with them, love is patient, slow to anger. Realize the blessing you have in them. Be proud of them, not in a boastful manner, but in a humble thank you Jesus for this blessing, I want the world to know who you have given me as my best friend. Acknowledge who they are and the position they share in your life and share them with the world around.
So I am sure by now, the thought has crossed the mind..."What does the opening paragraph have to do with any of this?" Because everyday I am understanding the concept of best friend, because everyday I am realizing that the closer I become to someone the better we should be for each other, but the closer I become to someone the more they know and see my faults/sins and the more I know and see theirs. Just like a spouse, you see their quirks, but instead of being like the world and looking for the greener grass, or something/someone to replace, I want to persevere, I want to commit, I want to work hard and be the best friend forever. And I believe it is possible and He has placed me in the relationships necessary to be best friends forever. This journey is my own, but He has given me people who can be there with me on the narrow path that leads to complete life in Him. Thank you Jesus!!
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