Thursday, October 4, 2012

Community....where do we find it?

A few months ago I was confronted by two women who I love dearly. I hate to use the word confronted but at the time that is how I felt. Now that I have had time to think and truly take in all that was said, I know that I was approached out of love, compassion, and their desire to see me grow and living in the will of the Lord, and they knew I needed community, true community, in other words, I needed to be plugged into a local church, serving and ministering, finding fellowship and community, not just worshiping and taking from the church, but giving and serving.  It has taken a few months to truly digest all that I was approached with, but I am thankful they took the time to do not what was easy but what was hard. I now can see and understand clearly all they were saying and I have searched the scriptures and read about the early church and church community, and yes, they approached me biblically and soundly (not that I doubted and they both spoke to me separately without knowing the other had spoken to me, therefore you know it was a Jesus thing!). Yesterday, I read a quote in a devotional blog I read daily, it has been resounding off the walls of my small finite brain. Ann Voskamp wrote: "If we are going to change our lives, what we’re going to have to change is the way we see." One may wonder how does this apply to community, biblical community, and how does this apply to where we find it....easy, we may have to change our view, our thoughts, our way of seeing, our comfort zones in order to change our lives. If we want to be part of true biblical community, it may take changing our agenda, not someone else's. So, over the last few months I have been thinking about all they said, I have been working through each and every word that was passed on to me and while they had already addressed them in their conversations, I, myself, needed to address the various places we find community and what is scripture's view on community.  After reading this quote, I realized that maybe it is me, my agenda that needs to change my way of seeing biblical community. "If we are going to change our lives, what we’re going to have to change is the way we see." 

In general over our lifetime there are many different places we find community, but there are a few basic social structures we see it the most: family, church, school, work, and other (volunteer organizations, civic organizations, professional organizations, etc). One can also argue, neighborhood, social economic status, etc but for the sake of nit picking, these five are the broadest structures.

Family, we are born into a family, we are not given the option of picking our family, our ethnicity, our culture. The Lord in His infinite wisdom ordained before time began the family we would be born into. And this is community; we celebrate together. We rejoice together, we grieve together. We love unconditionally, we serve wholeheartedly. The Lord has given us the family as the nucleus to everything else. Godly families raise their children in the admonition of the Lord, they raise their children to serve their church their community and their schools. Godly families do not wait for the church to educate the school to educate but they educate in the home. They pray together, they read Scripture together. Godly families point their children to the church, the body of Christ. Godly families are actively involved in their churches, serving, ministering, growing, fellowshipping. Godly families show their children where true biblical community is to be found. Not all families are godly nor based on godly principals and many times children fall through the cracks, they miss out on the concept of biblical community from a young age. As they grow older they struggle to find community because they search for community in structures a part from the church. Our family is the first community we know and experience and if it is broken, there will be a struggle later in life. 

As we go through childhood, high school, college, and into the workplace, many of us become involved in various civic, political, professional, and recreational organizations. We find community in a common sport, common value, common profession, or common desire to serve others. We spend time playing, serving, learning, along side others and develop a type of community. Our common interests draw us together for a cause, a purpose, or just a game or contest. Our team becomes a family, our service organization gives us opportunities to meet others with common values, our political organization gives us time to spend with those who fight for causes we deem important. But as we see with the current election year, these organizations can be temporary seasons and most are organizations a part from our local church. We can search for community here and will find it but will it truly satisfy us?

As we grow, we enter into the season of schooling. School becomes an immediate community. We find community through common classes common interests common friend groups. This community is enhanced in college where you are living together and spending the majority of your time with the same people. From elementary to college, we should be seeking godly community even within our schools. We should be seeking the friends that will point us towards the cross not away. These are the years where what we have learned within the nucleus of our family is put to test. The beliefs morals and values we have been taught are challenged. Our peers are trying to pressure us into succumbing to the ways of the world whether through cheating on tests, copying others' work, using obscene language, gossiping, sex, the list goes on. These are formative years and formative friendships. Positive, godly, community within school is important to the success of any student. I am blessed to have wonderful godly friends from college who I know are there through each season of life, they are truly a blessing, but our time living together was only for a short season in the life the Lord has given us and life does move on. Even during our school years, we should continue to be seeking community outside of our school as well, we should be guiding our children to serving, investing in the church, to outreach, to ministry, to fellowship a part from school. We should be preparing them for when they leave the comfort and confines of school. Our time in school is less than a fourth of one's life, and then we are pushed into the world and understanding where to find true community becomes imperative.

There are times we all wished we were still in school when life was a little easier, when dinner was on the table, when our biggest concerns were the test on Friday and who our best friend was for the week. But we all must move on and into the work place we are thrust. Unfortunately, what I have seen and what I myself have experienced is the desire to use the workplace as our "school" or "college." We are so used to having this community around us that we now seek that same community through our work. However, over time we realize that things are different. We spend more time with the people we work with than anyone else. Let's be honest, we all work 45 plus hour weeks. If we are married, we are spending more time with our coworkers than our spouses. If we have children, we see our coworkers' children more than our own. If we are single, we spend more time a week with our coworkers than we do talking with our family and our best friends. How healthy is it then to seek our community through our coworkers? I am extremely blessed to have wonderful godly coaches, fellow ATs, clinicians, teachers, and doctors around me. I love them dearly and know that at any moment they are there. They have proven to be a support group through many trials I have faced. I remember looking up and seeing them in the receiving line when I lost my grandparents or covering games for me when I lost my niece, or celebrating weddings and the birth of children together; godly coworkers are important and are a true blessing, but while I know they are there and I am thankful that they provide a godly work community, I now realize that I must find my community through my local church and I have seen each of them plugged into and serving and investing in and through their churches. Not to say that occasionally we won't all get together to catch up but we have realized the importance of separating ourselves from our profession and our workplace. We have learned that when our community becomes our profession, our workplace, our school, our clinic, we will suffer. If I continue to spend time with those I work with or work near on a regular basis outside of work, it becomes hard to differentiate work and life and life and work. Professional and personal begin to mix. I heard a pastor once say that the more time we spend with those from work, or those within our profession, outside of work, over time the more negative work will become, even if they are the godliest of individuals, because we are now unintentionally continuing with work outside of work.  He continued explaining during the workday we may begin to shift towards time with certain coworkers over others, what we do outside of work will become a part of our workday conversations instead of work itself, we will enter into conversations outside of work about work without thinking, the attitudes of others will affect our attitudes towards our profession or job, we are not allowing ourselves time a part from work or our profession. We unintentionally will let personal feelings enter the workplace or our profession. Now, let me pause, because I know there are many who say I have friends at work etc. It is extremely important to invest in the lives of those around you, the Lord has given us our workplaces our professions as ministry opportunities and that is important. There is nothing wrong with the occasional dinner or time spent outside of work with those we work with or work near. We are called to invest and to minister. But when that time begins to become a regular occurrence or when that time begins to take away from our time investing in others or in our local church, we have sought community in our work and eventually it will affect our profession our quality of work and our relationships, even with the godliest of intentions and the godliest of individuals.  I recall in my own life a summer a few years ago working alongside one of my coworkers and then spending a lot of time together outside of work. We do not work at the same place but we work for the same company. I love this individual dearly, they are very godly, very wise,  they are older than me so I have sought their advice, they have been there through many trials and rejoicings. However, the amount of time working together and the amount of time outside of work, began to affect us both in our attitudes, behaviors, and began to affect our work and our view on our profession and even our friendship. And this was just throughout a summer. We now will occasionally talk on the phone, grab lunch, and text, and we both know that at any moment if needed the other is there, but they are invested in their church and ministry opportunities and I still consider them an amazing friend. I love how in scripture so many used their profession as a gateway to minister to others but they were plugged into their local church, serving and investing. They ministered at work from 9-5 and then they found their fellowship through the local church and in return continued to minister. 

The local church...if we look throughout scripture  this is where people turned for fellowship for needs to be met for teaching for correction for community. This is what fed them and empowered them to minister in their workplaces and schools. This is what gave them the strength to reach their coworkers neighbors and friends. This is where we need to find community, through a local body of believers. Our main sources of community do not need to be our work, our school, a Bible study, an accountability group; we need to be plugged in, we need to be investing in a local church. I would like to boldly say where we tithe our money is where we need to tithe our time. I am blessed to have an accountability group of three wonderful godly amazing ladies who I cherish their advice, time, and the time we have together. This is an important time for each of us to share, and this is time we all need to seek. We need accountability from godly individuals. And I feel as we approach almost a year of meeting together we are just now scratching the surface of how deep we will eventually be able to take this group spiritually. It takes time! Also, I am blessed to hopefully have a Bible study with two amazing women, a time to share and minister. These are all a part from work, a part from school, these are times of sharing together with other believers and these are wonderful and needed additions to my life. We do not need to neglect times of accountability and study. However, while these are extremely important, they are already in place in my life, and are already an important aspect to my spiritual growth, the puzzle is almost complete, but there is one piece of the puzzle missing, being plugged into a local church body. And I know this now, it took hearing it, it took being confronted in love by two dear friends. Yes I have been attending church, I do not go a Sunday without, but I have become one of "those" I go, I tithe, I worship I leave. I am missing out on the most important community; I am missing out on serving giving investing and growing because I am not willing to move out of my comfort zone, change how I see things, change my agenda, and just do it. I am missing out on being able to minister better to serve better, to encourage better, to uplift better, to pray for better, to minister to my accountability group, to my potential Bible study ladies, to my best friend, to my sister, to my family, to my work because I am not seeking the church. I am using the church for what I can gain and not for what I can give. And this is what they were trying to share, this is the truth they were trying to lay on my heart. Lord willing, they will always be there they are the dearest of friends, my family will always be there, my best friend will always be there, my work, my students, my coworkers will always be there but in order for me to be the best friend, accountability partner, sister, daughter, coworker, I need to be investing where I tithe. I do not need to be at this church for this and then hop to that church for that; I need to be fully invested in one church, one local body of believers, and from there I need to be reaching out and serving around me. This is where I find community and fellowship, that empowers me to invest in lives, to serve others, to minister gladly.

At the time, I struggled to digest all that they had said, but I am more than thankful for their friendship, for another amazing young woman's friendship, for the three of them investing and being honest in Truth. As I look over my life, my times of greatest growth spiritually, greatest times of fellowship, greatest times of serving, were when I was serving and ministering at my local church growing up, in China, in Virginia, and when I first moved here. Each of these seasons of life I was plugged into a church and serving.  So, as I enter into a new season of life, the next thought is how do I get back to this growth, things are very different now, I am still single and older, and I return to this quote..."If we are going to change our lives, what we’re going to have to change is the way we see." 

"And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day,attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." Acts 2:42-47






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