Morning Thoughts: Idols...

I often read at night and when I wake the next morning feel like I have been thinking on what I read in my sleep. I truly believe the Lord uses the Holy Spirit in our sleep to reveal things in our subconscious state. Two books that have become a part of my nightly routine this week are Idol Lies by Dee Brestin and So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore, talk about a triple blow to the head and heart, try reading your Bible followed by a good dose of these are your idols followed by and this is why you are insecure! There may be many blogs to follow on idols and insecurity! But this morning a few thoughts have been running through my head and I just wanted to jot them down, possibly to continue to mull and ponder over, or possibly to provide others thoughts the Lord desires them to mull and ponder. So here goes nothing...

Idols...wow...they are not necessarily the golden fat guy sitting in the nail salon. They run deeper and cut harder to many of us. All morning I have been questioning "why?" Why do we think the Lord is not enough? Why do we think what the Lord has provided us is not enough? Why do we think the Lord does not know what we need, when we need it, and is faithful to fulfill all the promises in His Word? Why do we think the Lord is not in control and we are? This is a vicious cycle I see in the lives of believers today. We break an idol and claim another, we turn away from one sin only to seek another, we draw close to the Lord then draw closer to man. Idols....wow, we all have them, we all at some point let them have power over us. We break free from the penalty of sin through the saving grace of our Lord Jesus and we fall to the power of sin through the lies and deceits of satan, when we are given the ability and the weapons to break free from the power of sin!!

We have an older car older phone older television, we want something newer and nicer. We have a job and can provide for our family, but we want a more secure and "satisfying" lifestyle. We have just what we need but we desire what we want. We have money but we want more. We live in the upper percent in the world with a roof over our head shoes on our feet food on our tables a car in the driveway but we are not satisfied with what the Lord has given. We want out of debt not to be able to give more but to get more. We have a coffee pot at home but it isn't as good as the place that shines down the street or the place that the country is running on. We have clothes but we have not bought a new outfit in a year. We get a raise, we deserve to treat our self to something nice. We have a degree, we have a graduate degree, but we want more, we want to keep pursing for the sake of pursuit. We have a great church, but we see a "greater" church over there. We have a church that serves the community but we want a church that serves us. We want to find community where we are comfortable not where we are uncomfortable. We want to seek the easy not the hard. We see programs and what we can gain and not outreach and what we can give. We are single we want to be married. We are married we want to have children. We have teenagers we want an empty nest. We have an empty nest we want grandchildren. We have grandchildren we want to have a quiet home again. We have a quiet home we want our children back. We are single we want a boyfriend or girlfriend, we have a boyfriend or girlfriend we want a spouse. We have a spouse we miss our friends. We have a best friend but we want someone else. We have a few friends we want other friends. We have friends that are married but we want friends that are single. We have great friends but we seek others and find newer better friends. We have a beautiful spouse but we seek the beautiful person down the hall. We are given compliments by our parents but we would rather have compliments from the guy/girl at work. We are encouraged by our best friend but we would rather be encouraged by our other friends. We are prayed for by some and we share to some but would rather share with someone else because we know they do not "know" us therefore they will not "convict" us. We are healthy fit and able to exercise and workout regularly but we are not satisfied with our abilities and we work harder spend more time at the gym or in front of the DVD. We know our body is healthy but we let a number define us. We place more of an emphasis on our time in the gym than in the Word. We know that we will find community and comfort in exercise and desire that over the alone time and comfort in the presence of the Lord. We turn on the television and turn off our ears to the whisper of the Lord. We fill our schedule with time with the godly and not with time with THE God. We look for the things that will bring us joy happiness and comfort and not seek joy happiness comfort in the One Thing that is the source of joy happiness and comfort. We look for the people that will allow us to do the most have the most "fun" be able to spend the most time and not rest in who the Lord has provided and find contentment in them and contentment in HIM. 

The list could go on and on and on forever, and to emphasize none of these in and of themselves are necessarily bad. We need food, clothing, shelter, transportation, money, friends, community, church, a healthy body....but when we take these and place them above the One who is the Source the Provider of ALL things, we have made an idol. And what will happen is we become stuck in a cycle. The Lord will rip away the things that are causing us to stumble, the Lord will bring us to rock bottom, because He is a jealous God, He desires that in us and through us He is glorified. He is also the Lord of second chances, of third chances, and there will be times were He gives us a "do-over." He will place us in almost the exact situations we were placed in previously and He is allowing us the opportunity to go through this situation the right way, the way He desires. He can bring us back to the exact place we were before and it is our choice how we will proceed. 

"Idols drive us to make foolish choices." (Dee Brestin, in Idol Lies) We are given choices daily, what idols are driving us to make foolish choices? Has the Lord placed you in almost exact situations to allow you the chance to "do-over" and if He has are you truly placing yourself in His will or have you replaced one idol for another? Idols....we all have them but we can all be set free. 

Daily Thought: Life Lessons I'm Learning, 33 Years of My Journey...

Some days I sit and just think, process, ponder. For those who know me well, they know I am a processor, I rarely react immediately, it takes time, I hold things inside, I mull over them, I let them simmer in my mind, and then I react. Daily, I listen to my athletes; they truly think they are invincible, that what they are doing will not affect the rest of their lives. They do not realize the consequences of their actions, good or bad. I have heard it said that it is not until we are in our mid to late twenties (roughly 26) we are able to truly and fully understand the repercussions, the consequences to the decisions we make. Looking around society today, I would like to push this age even further into the early thirties. Just like it takes times to grow and mature physically, academically, emotionally, mentally, it takes time to grow spiritually. To grow physically, we have to eat the right foods, exercise, take care of our bodies, we do not starve ourselves of the nutrients we need. If we are hungry, we eat, if we are thirsty we drink. To grow academically, we must apply ourselves, study, have an innate desire to learn and to become better. If we study, we will do well, if we want to learn, we will find ways to learn, if we want to become better, we seek out those in our professions who are better. We do not starve ourselves of learning experiences if we desire to grow academically. To grow emotionally and mentally, it takes years for our brain to fully develop, it takes experiences and situations, it takes life happening, and it takes us as individuals learning our weaknesses and working through them, developing better coping skills, better decision making abilities. We can not hide from trials, joys, hardships, good times, life happens and we grow from it. And spiritually, the one area that matters the most is the one area that is neglected the most. If we want to grow spiritually, we must hunger and thirst after the Word, after the Truth. We can not replace time in the Word with time with others who are godly. We can not replace conversation with the Father, with conversation with believers. We can not replace time of rest with time of busyness. If we claim we do not have time for the Father, time for the Word, then we are too busy doing and not being. For all the others (physically, emotionally, mentally, academically) to fall into place, we must first be focusing on growing spiritually. And I am preaching to the choir.

They say age is but a number, and that it is, to an extent, but I also would like to counter and say that age is more than a number. With each year that passes, others should be able to look at our lives and say, she is different, she is maturing, she is changing, she is wiser, she is producing fruit abundantly, she is hungering after righteousness, the joy of the Lord is her strength. We should feel "older" we should feel different. Where I was at 26, 28, 30, is different than where I am at 33. With each year that passes, my passion for the Lord should be greater than the year before. 

So as I sit here, mulling over the past, these life lessons are what the Lord has shown me throughout the last few days:

1. My life should be uncomfortable. It will be uncomfortable.
2. I choose each moment of each day if I will live in joy.
3. I choose through each circumstance the attitude I will demonstrate.
4. My life will not be easy.
5. I will suffer, sometimes daily.
6. I will struggle, sometimes for a while.
7. We hurt the worst the ones we love the most.
8. What dominates my thoughts will dictate my behavior.
9. Fill my mind with lies, I will believe the lies. Fill my mind with Truth, I will believe the Truth.
10. I choose the thoughts I let fill my mind. I also know the Truth my mind should be filled with.
11. My life (now) will never be like it was (in college/in my early 20s) and that is OK.
12. Life changes as we get older, accept the changes, and stop trying to hold onto the way things were.
13. How many times do we say, "when I was in college? when I lived in China? when I was living in Virginia?" Fill in the blanks with your own words....Life changes and it does not mean it has to be bad, accept the changes, and stop trying to hold on to the way things were.
14. If I live focused on the past (the past good and the past bad) I will not see the blessings of the present and future.
15. What I seek, tells me who I am. Am I seeking others or am I seeking Him?
16. Not everyone we come in contact with is meant to be a close friend, but we are meant to be Christ to them. Find contentment in what you have been given not in what you think you need but do not miss opportunities to serve and love. It is OK if everyone is not our friends, we are meant to serve all, not best friend all.
17. He does not desire for us to be alone, but remember He did go alone into the desert, He did go alone to pray, He did withdraw alone from the crowds. There are some seasons in life we are meant to be alone.
18. Follow Christ's example, He had Peter, He had James and John, He had his 12, and then He had the multitudes. Yet He served all, He loved all.
19. True friends are rare.
20. There is a friend who will stick closer than a brother.
21. There is such a thing as a best friend forever. They are rare, but they do exist
22. Relationships are messy but they are a mess worth making.
23. I must lay down my desires for the desires of others.
24. My journey is my own journey. We are not all cut from the same mold.
25. I am single, I am in my thirties, there is nothing wrong with me, I am not going to sit around dwelling on what I do not have, I am a daughter of the King, He is my portion, I am living my life in abundance, He knows my desires.
26. I have found the answer to being content, whether in want or in need, HE is where I find contentment and my JOY is found in HIM not in marriage, not in children, not in my profession, not in my friends, not in the things I do not have or the things I want or the things I do have!
27. It is not about me, it is about Him working through me.
28. In order to change my life, I need to change the way I see.
29. My assurance is the blessed assurance Jesus is mine not the blessed assurance man is mine.
30. My assurance lies in HIM alone!
31. My identity is in Christ not in mankind!
32. My boast is in my weaknesses and the power of the cross, not in my accomplishments and the power of me!
33. The Lord is Sovereign, I am not and Satan is not!! The LORD is Sovereign over all!!

I know I am still young in the eyes of many and old in the eyes of others....age is but a number:) But I desire each year, to be different, each year to have those who are around me be able to say she is growing, she is older, she is wiser, she is more mature, she is learning. I want when the Lord has brought my time on earth to completion and He has finished the work He has started in me to say well done, you have fought a good fight, you lost a few battles along the way, you stumbled, you went off the path, but you have stayed faithful. What a journey, 33 years and counting....praise the Lord!

Community...where do we find it? Part 2

"If we are going to change our lives, what we’re going to have to change is the way we see." I have already addressed the areas we search and attempt to find community. But through my prayers and scripture reading and through the conversations with my friends, I realized I am lacking an important piece to the puzzle. I have an amazing accountability group of three other wonderful godly women and we are just now scratching the surface on true accountability and sharing and our times together have gotten deeper and more of a blessing each time. I look forward to seeing continued growth in the future. I also hopefully will have a Bible study with two friends and will tackle some tough issues the three of us face. But there is one piece missing, being plugged into a local church. Before I begin on the ideas flowing through my brain, I want to take the time to share two examples among many of young families growing their children in the community of the church.

I look at one of my dearest friend's family. She and her husband have two beautiful girls, ages almost 4 and almost 2. They take teaching their children and raising their children in the Word very seriously and it starts in their home where Scripture is displayed and taught daily. From there, they have their family fully vested in their local church. Both parents, invest in small group ministries, time alone with other men and time alone with other women, time teaching youth and children. They are teaching their girls to invest by giving them ways to serve the pastor and others in the church by small service projects, by engaging them in the worship service, by being active in Sunday school. They are, at young ages, developing true community through their church. But it does not stop there, they in return minister to others around them. They take treats to neighbors, make copies for teachers, visit their dad at work and minister to his coworkers, spend time with their grandparents, collect money for local organizations, and they are only 4 and 2! But what truth they are being taught! They are being taught Truth first in the home, then they are finding community and fellowship within their church, then not only are they finding community but they are serving in their church, and in part they are serving those around them! I look within my own family and I see my own two beautiful nieces, who are almost 4 and almost 2. My sister and brother-in-law are teaching them Truth in the home, they place Scripture around the home, engage in nightly devotions and Bible readings, sing hymns and praise songs throughout the day. They engage my nieces in worship in the service on Sundays and have them actively involved in fellowship with others from church, having friends  from church with whom they actively pursue relationships. My nieces attend times of Bible study and other functions within the church and then they serve alongside the church members in various service projects and ministry opportunities. And from there are sent to minister in their communities to friends they meet on the Air Force Base, through MOPS, and other organizations! These are just two of the amazing examples I have before me! Both families are changing their lives by changing the way they see!

At first reading of the devotion by Ann Voskamp I read it purely based on what she was writing for the day, but the quote continued to resound in my mind. "If we are going to change our lives, what we’re going to have to change is the way we see."  The Lord continued to bring back conversations with friends from the week and the recent past. It is extremely hard to plug into a local church being single. I am not pulling the single card, it is very difficult. We can walk into a room sit down and be passed over very easily. I have watched greeters look directly past me and to a couple sitting near me. But it hit me last night reading an email from an amazing single woman. I daily choose the attitude I am going to have, yes I have the desire to be married and have a family but that desire will be filled when my desire and His desire cross paths and until then I can choose to sit silent and not be active and not serve or I can choose to live a joy filled exciting life and actively serve. So it boils down to what is my agenda with church? Am I looking for a church that has a vibrant young adult/singles program that caters to people exactly like me, living exactly like I do, am I looking for a church that has programs geared towards me, and that possibility of finding that special man as I walk through the door? This is just one agenda we as singles walk into church with but what is my agenda, my personal agenda, with church, finding something for me or serving and glorifying the Lord? Because if I am going to church and basing it off of my agenda it will fail every time and every other church, the pasture on the other side, will look a whole lot greener. But if I know that I am at a church that the Lord has called me to and a church that is preaching the gospel, a church where there are opportunities for me to use my gifts and talents, then if I am not plugged into it, I am being disobedient to the calling the Lord has placed in my heart. If He has brought me to a church, if I am tithing to a church, then I should be serving at that church, and I should be fellowshipping with that church. It is so easy as a single individual to not to commit to a church, we see the way the church fails us, we see the way we can walk into a room and no one speak to us, I know! It is very hard!! I have already addressed this issue previously, but maybe, just maybe, instead of trying to change other's agendas, I need to change my own. Maybe instead of changing the way others view me, I change the way I view others. One of my greatest times of worship and service was with a little church down in Calhoun Falls, they did not have programs, they definitely did not have a singles' ministry, but they had the love of the Gospel and they loved me more than I can imagine. I learned form them, I was able to serve them by filling in at the piano a few times, I worshiped with them, and the last Sunday we were there, I cried because I knew the Lord had brought our family to that church for just the right season in life. As we look for a church body, a church community, we need to have our hearts open to where the Lord is leading us, and it may not be a place of comfort. In fact, being single and attending church is very uncomfortable. And plugging in and getting involved is even more uncomfortable. It takes changing our view, changing our agenda, changing our perspective. I think sometimes we think those who are married and have children do not care about us, that they have their own agenda and do not care about getting to know us or getting to serve with us, but what if we started changing the way we view them. What if we jumped into ministries, found ways to serve, didn't worry about if we sat in a room alone or if we sat in a room with a hundred friends, what if we plugged into our churches, like they do, I would dare say their agendas, their views would start to change. I know this from personal experience. I joined a church, was one of very few single adults, but I jumped in head first, I worked with the youth, found a small group (of ALL married minus like four of us), coached church basketball. Were there times I struggled? Yes!! But what I began to find is that my small group, they began to view singles differently. (I also found that this is not an issue among men, they could care less whether another man is single married divorced widower parent, if they have something in common they are immediate friends, why can't women be more like this?) The church began to view singles differently and I began to allow the Lord to use me right where I was to minister to serve and I became a better friend, coworker, daughter. I have learned so many things about marriage about parenting about serving about caring through time spent with women who are married. And I have learned that it takes me making an effort and putting forth an effort to develop these relationships. It is so easy to run to what is comfortable but I am quickly learning the Lord did not call me to lead a comfortable life. I need to seek a local church, a Gospel believing, serving, ministering church, and despite how uncomfortable it is, I need to find community because if I am in the place the Lord has called me, community will be there. But I can not find it if I do not seek it. I can not find it if I do not change the way I see.

It is easy for me to speak on behalf of singles, I am single, I am in my thirties, and I struggle with the way the church sometimes views us. So while it takes me changing my view on community, my agenda with church, it also takes married and married with children's views and agendas changing. Again, if we are tithing to a church then our family needs to be serving within the church and our family should be finding community within the church. Married, the majority of single adults are educated human beings, who have similar interests, desires, thoughts, maturity, beliefs as you. We desire to be invested in. The majority of my friends are married, and while life changes, I am still friends with them. Married, do not over look the single woman sitting a few rows down from you, you may just have your new running partner. Or do not neglect to call back the girl in small group you gave your number to, you may be missing the person who can talk you through a problem. Or married with children, do not neglect to invite over the single man a few rows back, you may be missing out on someone who knows how to build the new dresser you need or a potential babysitter:) "If we are going to change our lives, what we’re going to have to change is the way we see." Even those who are married and married with children may need to change the way they see, the way they view community in order to change their lives. Just as singles need to reach outside their comfort zone so should those who are married (especially women). Finding a church in which you can grow, serve, develop community, and community with those of various backgrounds, ages, marital statuses, is important. Yes, you need to have mothers, fathers, married men and women investing in you, but you also need singles, widowed, divorced, elderly. This is what the family of believers is, a community of believers all different all serving together. So do not be afraid to approach someone who is single, it may surprise you the commonality you share and the advice and wisdom they are able to impart. 

Community, it is easy to try to find true community in so many different places but that is because it is comfortable. It is comfortable to seek it through work, school, organizations, but it is uncomfortable to seek it through church. Why? Because it takes work, it takes action, it takes seeking out, it takes moving away from our comfort zones. It takes commitment, it takes reaching others who we may not have thought to reach, it takes being obedient to the calling of Christ. True community is found in a local body of believers, being plugged into a local church.  Yes, we have the community we live in, the community where we work, the community of our profession, the community we volunteer with, but the only way to minister to these communities is by having the community of the local church behind us. When I went to China, my home church went before me, they prayed over me, they sent me care packages, they supported me financially and prayerfully. When I went through the pain of losing my niece, my home church was there with food, prayer, support, people came and answered doorbells and phone calls and not only my home church. And yes, my coworkers, other doctors, clinicians, teachers were all there supporting me praying for me encouraging me when I returned, but the heart of support came through the church.  I in return was able to minister to others through my time in China, through my loss, and others have grown in the Lord have come to know the Lord due to the investment of the church in me and I in others. I am so thankful that a few months ago I was confronted in love. I am so thankful I have three ladies who hold me accountable to the Truth. I am so thankful I have a possible Bible study. I am so thankful I have my puzzle almost complete, and I am ready to truly complete this puzzle. I am ready to enter back into a local body of believers, a Gospel centered church, and I am ready for the community I have experienced before. Because when true community exists within a church:  "Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common.  And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need. " Acts 4:32-35

Community....where do we find it?

A few months ago I was confronted by two women who I love dearly. I hate to use the word confronted but at the time that is how I felt. Now that I have had time to think and truly take in all that was said, I know that I was approached out of love, compassion, and their desire to see me grow and living in the will of the Lord, and they knew I needed community, true community, in other words, I needed to be plugged into a local church, serving and ministering, finding fellowship and community, not just worshiping and taking from the church, but giving and serving.  It has taken a few months to truly digest all that I was approached with, but I am thankful they took the time to do not what was easy but what was hard. I now can see and understand clearly all they were saying and I have searched the scriptures and read about the early church and church community, and yes, they approached me biblically and soundly (not that I doubted and they both spoke to me separately without knowing the other had spoken to me, therefore you know it was a Jesus thing!). Yesterday, I read a quote in a devotional blog I read daily, it has been resounding off the walls of my small finite brain. Ann Voskamp wrote: "If we are going to change our lives, what we’re going to have to change is the way we see." One may wonder how does this apply to community, biblical community, and how does this apply to where we find it....easy, we may have to change our view, our thoughts, our way of seeing, our comfort zones in order to change our lives. If we want to be part of true biblical community, it may take changing our agenda, not someone else's. So, over the last few months I have been thinking about all they said, I have been working through each and every word that was passed on to me and while they had already addressed them in their conversations, I, myself, needed to address the various places we find community and what is scripture's view on community.  After reading this quote, I realized that maybe it is me, my agenda that needs to change my way of seeing biblical community. "If we are going to change our lives, what we’re going to have to change is the way we see." 

In general over our lifetime there are many different places we find community, but there are a few basic social structures we see it the most: family, church, school, work, and other (volunteer organizations, civic organizations, professional organizations, etc). One can also argue, neighborhood, social economic status, etc but for the sake of nit picking, these five are the broadest structures.

Family, we are born into a family, we are not given the option of picking our family, our ethnicity, our culture. The Lord in His infinite wisdom ordained before time began the family we would be born into. And this is community; we celebrate together. We rejoice together, we grieve together. We love unconditionally, we serve wholeheartedly. The Lord has given us the family as the nucleus to everything else. Godly families raise their children in the admonition of the Lord, they raise their children to serve their church their community and their schools. Godly families do not wait for the church to educate the school to educate but they educate in the home. They pray together, they read Scripture together. Godly families point their children to the church, the body of Christ. Godly families are actively involved in their churches, serving, ministering, growing, fellowshipping. Godly families show their children where true biblical community is to be found. Not all families are godly nor based on godly principals and many times children fall through the cracks, they miss out on the concept of biblical community from a young age. As they grow older they struggle to find community because they search for community in structures a part from the church. Our family is the first community we know and experience and if it is broken, there will be a struggle later in life. 

As we go through childhood, high school, college, and into the workplace, many of us become involved in various civic, political, professional, and recreational organizations. We find community in a common sport, common value, common profession, or common desire to serve others. We spend time playing, serving, learning, along side others and develop a type of community. Our common interests draw us together for a cause, a purpose, or just a game or contest. Our team becomes a family, our service organization gives us opportunities to meet others with common values, our political organization gives us time to spend with those who fight for causes we deem important. But as we see with the current election year, these organizations can be temporary seasons and most are organizations a part from our local church. We can search for community here and will find it but will it truly satisfy us?

As we grow, we enter into the season of schooling. School becomes an immediate community. We find community through common classes common interests common friend groups. This community is enhanced in college where you are living together and spending the majority of your time with the same people. From elementary to college, we should be seeking godly community even within our schools. We should be seeking the friends that will point us towards the cross not away. These are the years where what we have learned within the nucleus of our family is put to test. The beliefs morals and values we have been taught are challenged. Our peers are trying to pressure us into succumbing to the ways of the world whether through cheating on tests, copying others' work, using obscene language, gossiping, sex, the list goes on. These are formative years and formative friendships. Positive, godly, community within school is important to the success of any student. I am blessed to have wonderful godly friends from college who I know are there through each season of life, they are truly a blessing, but our time living together was only for a short season in the life the Lord has given us and life does move on. Even during our school years, we should continue to be seeking community outside of our school as well, we should be guiding our children to serving, investing in the church, to outreach, to ministry, to fellowship a part from school. We should be preparing them for when they leave the comfort and confines of school. Our time in school is less than a fourth of one's life, and then we are pushed into the world and understanding where to find true community becomes imperative.

There are times we all wished we were still in school when life was a little easier, when dinner was on the table, when our biggest concerns were the test on Friday and who our best friend was for the week. But we all must move on and into the work place we are thrust. Unfortunately, what I have seen and what I myself have experienced is the desire to use the workplace as our "school" or "college." We are so used to having this community around us that we now seek that same community through our work. However, over time we realize that things are different. We spend more time with the people we work with than anyone else. Let's be honest, we all work 45 plus hour weeks. If we are married, we are spending more time with our coworkers than our spouses. If we have children, we see our coworkers' children more than our own. If we are single, we spend more time a week with our coworkers than we do talking with our family and our best friends. How healthy is it then to seek our community through our coworkers? I am extremely blessed to have wonderful godly coaches, fellow ATs, clinicians, teachers, and doctors around me. I love them dearly and know that at any moment they are there. They have proven to be a support group through many trials I have faced. I remember looking up and seeing them in the receiving line when I lost my grandparents or covering games for me when I lost my niece, or celebrating weddings and the birth of children together; godly coworkers are important and are a true blessing, but while I know they are there and I am thankful that they provide a godly work community, I now realize that I must find my community through my local church and I have seen each of them plugged into and serving and investing in and through their churches. Not to say that occasionally we won't all get together to catch up but we have realized the importance of separating ourselves from our profession and our workplace. We have learned that when our community becomes our profession, our workplace, our school, our clinic, we will suffer. If I continue to spend time with those I work with or work near on a regular basis outside of work, it becomes hard to differentiate work and life and life and work. Professional and personal begin to mix. I heard a pastor once say that the more time we spend with those from work, or those within our profession, outside of work, over time the more negative work will become, even if they are the godliest of individuals, because we are now unintentionally continuing with work outside of work.  He continued explaining during the workday we may begin to shift towards time with certain coworkers over others, what we do outside of work will become a part of our workday conversations instead of work itself, we will enter into conversations outside of work about work without thinking, the attitudes of others will affect our attitudes towards our profession or job, we are not allowing ourselves time a part from work or our profession. We unintentionally will let personal feelings enter the workplace or our profession. Now, let me pause, because I know there are many who say I have friends at work etc. It is extremely important to invest in the lives of those around you, the Lord has given us our workplaces our professions as ministry opportunities and that is important. There is nothing wrong with the occasional dinner or time spent outside of work with those we work with or work near. We are called to invest and to minister. But when that time begins to become a regular occurrence or when that time begins to take away from our time investing in others or in our local church, we have sought community in our work and eventually it will affect our profession our quality of work and our relationships, even with the godliest of intentions and the godliest of individuals.  I recall in my own life a summer a few years ago working alongside one of my coworkers and then spending a lot of time together outside of work. We do not work at the same place but we work for the same company. I love this individual dearly, they are very godly, very wise,  they are older than me so I have sought their advice, they have been there through many trials and rejoicings. However, the amount of time working together and the amount of time outside of work, began to affect us both in our attitudes, behaviors, and began to affect our work and our view on our profession and even our friendship. And this was just throughout a summer. We now will occasionally talk on the phone, grab lunch, and text, and we both know that at any moment if needed the other is there, but they are invested in their church and ministry opportunities and I still consider them an amazing friend. I love how in scripture so many used their profession as a gateway to minister to others but they were plugged into their local church, serving and investing. They ministered at work from 9-5 and then they found their fellowship through the local church and in return continued to minister. 

The local church...if we look throughout scripture  this is where people turned for fellowship for needs to be met for teaching for correction for community. This is what fed them and empowered them to minister in their workplaces and schools. This is what gave them the strength to reach their coworkers neighbors and friends. This is where we need to find community, through a local body of believers. Our main sources of community do not need to be our work, our school, a Bible study, an accountability group; we need to be plugged in, we need to be investing in a local church. I would like to boldly say where we tithe our money is where we need to tithe our time. I am blessed to have an accountability group of three wonderful godly amazing ladies who I cherish their advice, time, and the time we have together. This is an important time for each of us to share, and this is time we all need to seek. We need accountability from godly individuals. And I feel as we approach almost a year of meeting together we are just now scratching the surface of how deep we will eventually be able to take this group spiritually. It takes time! Also, I am blessed to hopefully have a Bible study with two amazing women, a time to share and minister. These are all a part from work, a part from school, these are times of sharing together with other believers and these are wonderful and needed additions to my life. We do not need to neglect times of accountability and study. However, while these are extremely important, they are already in place in my life, and are already an important aspect to my spiritual growth, the puzzle is almost complete, but there is one piece of the puzzle missing, being plugged into a local church body. And I know this now, it took hearing it, it took being confronted in love by two dear friends. Yes I have been attending church, I do not go a Sunday without, but I have become one of "those" I go, I tithe, I worship I leave. I am missing out on the most important community; I am missing out on serving giving investing and growing because I am not willing to move out of my comfort zone, change how I see things, change my agenda, and just do it. I am missing out on being able to minister better to serve better, to encourage better, to uplift better, to pray for better, to minister to my accountability group, to my potential Bible study ladies, to my best friend, to my sister, to my family, to my work because I am not seeking the church. I am using the church for what I can gain and not for what I can give. And this is what they were trying to share, this is the truth they were trying to lay on my heart. Lord willing, they will always be there they are the dearest of friends, my family will always be there, my best friend will always be there, my work, my students, my coworkers will always be there but in order for me to be the best friend, accountability partner, sister, daughter, coworker, I need to be investing where I tithe. I do not need to be at this church for this and then hop to that church for that; I need to be fully invested in one church, one local body of believers, and from there I need to be reaching out and serving around me. This is where I find community and fellowship, that empowers me to invest in lives, to serve others, to minister gladly.

At the time, I struggled to digest all that they had said, but I am more than thankful for their friendship, for another amazing young woman's friendship, for the three of them investing and being honest in Truth. As I look over my life, my times of greatest growth spiritually, greatest times of fellowship, greatest times of serving, were when I was serving and ministering at my local church growing up, in China, in Virginia, and when I first moved here. Each of these seasons of life I was plugged into a church and serving.  So, as I enter into a new season of life, the next thought is how do I get back to this growth, things are very different now, I am still single and older, and I return to this quote..."If we are going to change our lives, what we’re going to have to change is the way we see." 

"And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day,attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." Acts 2:42-47

Dear Emeline...

Dear Emeline,

I sit here 5 years from the day you came into this world. I can still remember the day, the excitement, the sitting in the waiting room straining to hear your cries as they wheeled you down the hallway, the way you looked like an infant not a newborn from the time I first laid eyes on you. I have never felt such love, joy, pure happiness....ever. To this day, it is the single best day of my life. I know in the future the Lord will grant me a family of my own, but your birth, it will always hold a special place in my heart. You were the first born...and while each child is special there is something different with a first born.

I often think of how different life would be if we were actually celebrating your 5th birthday today. I can see you running around holding up your whole hand when asked how old you are, and I can see this big beautiful smile on your face, because you know you are now a big girl. I can imagine you heading off to school, or Mommy starting you in homeschool. I know you would be so smart and ahead of your class and grade because Mommy and Daddy would have spent so much time with you talking and teaching. I can see you playing soccer, basketball, t-ball. I can imagine how excited I would be when I got to see you play in your first game or dance in your first recital. And I can see the exact place the magnet of you in your uniform on your first "soccer card" would proudly be displayed on my refrigerator. I know by five we would have had many auntie and niece dates, sleepovers, and mini-get aways. But the Lord determined your life a little differently than we desired.

He knew you would only need seven wonderful weeks, to impact more than most. He knew before time began, you would grace this earth with your presence and that He would call you back home. Some say you passed to soon, others say there is no way the Lord would have done this, others have insisted the Lord does not will or allow suffering, still others have doubted you are now with Jesus. But as the years have passed, I am more thankful each day that He allowed us to be blessed by your short presence, that He cared so much about us, as your family, that He gave us the blessing of a little girl on September 23. I once too believed you had passed too soon, I see your sisters growing and the smiles they bring and the warmth in my heart each time I see or hear them, but I see the world they live in. I see the future they are facing, and how can I not be thankful that the Lord kept you from hurt and pain? How can I wish to have you here on earth where moth and rust destroy, where evil lurks around each corner, where suffering abounds, when you are in heaven dancing with the angels, singing praises to Jesus? How selfish of me to think my will and desire is greater than His sovereign plan. Many have said there is no way the Lord would have done this, there is no way the Lord wills or allows suffering to happen, so therefore there is no way the Lord would have taken you. But from the first moment I heard of you passing, I knew it was in the Lord's will. Only the Lord gives and takes away, only the Lord determines the number of days we have on this earth, only the Lord allows each thing that happens to us to pass first through His hand. We live in a fallen world, we are all totally depraved a part from Him, and we will suffer. Scripture is very clear we will suffer, but it is also clear we will suffer for a little while and then we will be brought into the presence of the Lord Himself where there is no suffering. Emeline, from the day you left, I believed and to this day I believe that the Lord is Sovereign, that there is no one, no one else His equal, and that He ordains each event that comes into my life. I would much rather know that He is the One who is Sovereign, not satan or myself. There is no doubt, the Lord was in control of your birth and of your death, praise Him! And I also know that you are in heaven with Granddaddy and Grandmother, that you have met the unborn children of some of my dearest friends, that you are walking the streets of gold. Baptism does not save, parents do not save, only the Lord saves. You were not here on this earth long enough to knowingly sin, you were not here long enough on this earth to be judged for any action, the Lord in His Sovereign grace has covered you and you are with Him. I read a book When an Infant Dies by a reformed author the day after you passed. I am so thankful to have a Lord who loves the unborn, the infants, and those who can not make decisions for themselves due to mental incapabilities.

So on your 5th birthday, I have to pause not only to remember, to imagine, to dream, to cry, to grieve, but to give thanks. Because, five years ago I rejoiced as you entered this world and five years later I can rejoice in the healing the Lord has brought and the lives you have touched and continue to touch. I have been blessed by two beautiful nieces, your little sisters, who bring a joy that is like none other. Elisea and Julia know who you are, you have not been forgotten. Elisea proudly states "I have two sisters, one is in heaven." As a big sister, we want to protect our little siblings, we want to protect those near us, those we are closest to, those we care the most about. It is the innate characteristic of a big sister, we protect and we care. While you are not here, I know you are still protecting and caring for your little sisters and know I am watching over them as well. I wish I could keep them from the hurts and pains of this world, but I can not. I can only love them and care for them, pray for them and point them to Jesus. What a five years, the Lord has given. It has not been easy, there have been moments of grief, moments of pain, moments of doubt and questioning, but praise Him for your life, praise Him for the lives you have touched and the hearts that have been drawn to the cross, blessed be His name.

You are forever missed. I know you are in our hearts but in His arms.
Love you so much, my beautiful niece,
Aunt Jynne

A Day to Remember....9/11

Life is truly about perspective, we will all see and view events a little differently. As my mini-feed comes up I see so many status updates about remembering 9/11. For me, it was just another day. My roommate and I were rushed to see the events unfolding on tv in a teacher's room, but we weren't sure what was happening, our team was asleep, so we made a couple calls to family back home, but phone lines were clogged and it was difficult to get through. We were called back in the middle of the night, and were able to get a little bit more information, we put notes under our teammates doors and went to back sleep. I woke up the next morning, taught my classes, watched the news coverage briefly during lunch, but couldn't understand what they were saying, it was all Chinese, again called friends and family and made sure they were ok. Yes, there was the initial moment of fear but the fear was in the not knowing if those I loved were safe, the fear was in the knowing people back home were suffering, and the greatest fear was of the unknown. But our lives in China quickly returned to normal after a couple days, lives here have never returned back to normal. I remember my getting off of the plane in LA summer 2012 and seeing flags and God Bless the USA all over a city that laughs at the mention of the Lord or my trip to NYC and seeing ground zero, or watching the 1st year anniversary on television, that is when it became real. But the emotions and feelings that are prevalent on this day in our nation I will never truly be able to understand, I was not here, I did not endure. Perspective...September to me means the birth of my first niece, the short life she lived, the time we had...all about perspective. Praying for all who grieve, grieving may last for the night but Joy comes in the morning! Praying our nation will not have to endure another tragedy just to see we need the Lord. I have a hope and I have a peace and I know Who holds even the greatest of tragedies in His hand...

Loving Tolerance

Love...tolerance...two words that have swept the nation, the church, right wing, left wing, churched, and unchurched. Over the last few weeks, these words have been plastered over Facebook and social media. But my heart's desire is not to take what others say as truth but what Scripture says as truth. If we believe the Bible is relevant to today, that it is inerrant, that is is useful for teaching rebuking correcting and living in truth, then what does it say about love and tolerance? What does it teach us? 

Beginning in Genesis and ending in Revelation, there is the call to love. First we must "Love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and mind" and second we must "Love our neighbor as ourselves." We are called to love everyone. We are called to live lives that show Christ's love in our actions, words, and deeds. We follow the example of our Creator, or Redeemer, our Lover. Christ loved unconditionally, Christ loved passionately, Christ loved us so much He gave His life as a ransomed for sin. Christ called the sinner, Christ met people right where they were. Christ was not ashamed to call the common and the despised. Christ loved but Christ was not tolerant.

We are called not only to love but to live like the One Who created us. Throughout Scripture it is clear that while Christ loved, He did not tolerate evil and sin. From Genesis to Revelation, there is a demand to live in the Spirit, to live in truth, to turn and sin no more. Christ does not tolerate sin, and neither should we. The Lord told his people as they entered into the promise land to destroy the nations they found, why? Because the nations were worshiping false gods, because they were living in sin. The Lord told Lot to take his family and leave the city, why? Because the city was filled with immorality and was going to be destroyed. As we look to the New Testament, we see story after story of Christ meeting people where they were. He met the woman at the well, He already knew the sin she was living in and He commanded her to leave the life of sin and sin no more. When He called the disciples, He called tax collectors and some of the "lowest of society" and He loved them, but He did not tolerate their sin, He commanded them to live in the Spirit, to abide in the Spirit. When Christ entered the temple to see it being defiled, He in loving anger began to knock over tables declaring the temple had become a den of robbers. The Lord loved the sinner but did not tolerate the sin, and that is how we should live. 

We should live as intolerant people. We should not tolerate sin, we should not tolerate false idols, we should not tolerate false truth, we should not tolerate the things that go against the Word. We are not called to be tolerant, we are not called to coexist. We are called to obey the law of the land, to respect those in position of government authority, but we are not called to obey when the laws are directly against what Scripture teaches. We are called to be set apart, we are called to be intolerant of anything that goes directly against the Word of God.

Unfortunately, what the world sees is a church full of hypocrisy, a church that points out the sins of others, a church that instead of loving the world, pushes the world farther away. However, at the same time, what the world can not and will not understand, unless we show them in love, is that we are sinners, chosen by God, and saved by grace. What the world can not and will not understand is that we all are born into sin, we all are totally depraved apart from the Saviour and that we will make mistakes. But the Lord called us in our mistakes, in our sins, and He, and He ALONE, redeemed us, and poured His Spirit on us and that we can only live in freedom from sin by His grace and mercy daily working in our lives. We, as believers, must love the world around us, we must shine a light that no one else shines, we must be an aroma of Christ that lingers when we are no longer present. We must first confess our sins, repent of our sins, and realize our need of a Saviour. We must not judge others or place sins on a hierarchical system. We must love all but not love sin. 

The Lord calls us to be holy as He is holy, He calls us to love as He loves, He calls us to serve as He serves. He calls us to live in the Spirit, not in the flesh. He calls us to abide in Him. He calls us to be either hot or cold, not lukewarm. He calls us to love and love passionately, but we should not tolerate sin.

‎"Our struggle is never that we are too angry; but that we are never angry enough. Our anger is always pitifully small when it is focused against a person or object; it is meant to be turned against all evil and all sin -- beginning first with our own failure of love."~quote taken from a Joni E. Tada devotional

Inerrancy and Truth of Scripture?

Over the last couple of days, I have been burdened with an unfortunate situation I see developing throughout the modern day church. We have put aside the truth of Scriptures, we have watered them down, and we are preaching false doctrines. At the heart of the issue is this: is the Word of God inerrant, infallible, truth for all generations? or is it stories, fables, and mere suggestions on how we should live? If we as believers, as the body of Christ, do not believe that the entire Holy Bible, that every word is inerrant, infallible, and not a mere suggestion, and grouping of stories, then we are ripping the heart right out of our faith. If the words on the pages are not truth, then where does it stop? If we do not believe the Lord has taught us to love our neighbors but we are to be intolerant to false teaching, what do we believe? If we do not believe that sin is sin and that we were all born into sin, what do we believe? If we do not believe the Lord created the heavens and the earth and did so in six days and rested on the seventh day, then what do we believe? If we do not believe that there is a hell, then what do we believe? If we do not believe that we are to follow the laws of the land until they go against the Word of God, then what do we believe? If we do not believe that the history in the Old Testament is a true account and has been placed there for us to learn from but also for us to see the redemptive work of the Saviour through time and to see where we have come from as a people, then what do we believe? If we believe that we can add to and take away from Scripture, then what else are we going to add to and take away from? If we do not believe that the Word of God is active and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, examine, exhorting, and encouraging in Christ, then what do we believe? If we are parents teaching our children that sexual immorality is all right, you are young and you can not control your hormones and it will be easier when you are married if you have already had sex, then what else will we teach them is right and not a sin? If we are teaching our children that it is all right to cheat and "cut corners" to get ahead, then what else will we teach them is not a sin? If we are gossiping or lying or placing ourselves in situations that we should not, then what else are we going to show them? Where will it stop? Because if we continue to pick and choose the Scriptures we believe to be truth, then we are picking and choosing away our salvation. How can we determine which are truth and which are not? How can we say this is not truth? If that is not truth, then someone else can say that the Lord did not come as a baby born to a virgin, He did not live a perfect sinless life, He did not heal the lame and sick, He was not beaten for our transgression, He was not hung upon a cross to die, He did not die, He was not raised from the dead, and He does not sit in heaven at the right hand of the Father. If we continue to pick a part the Scriptures then why do we even believe what we believe? Why do we not just throw our faith out the door and find another fad faith to follow? If the Scriptures are not inerrant, infallible, truth, laws to govern our land, our lives, our beings, if they are mere parables for us to follow, then Mother Goose, Aesop's Fables, and other religions can teach us the same principals. They can all teach us to "be good." But at the heart of Christianity is the Word of God, given to us from the only living God, it is what sets us a part. The fact is that the ONLY true God of this world gave us His Holy Word to use as a road map for our lives, the fact is that our God is the ONLY God Who is living and alive and active in the lives of His people. It is a sad day in our world when people are punished for burning other "holy" documents, but Christians each day "burn" their holy document by their actions and their words. When we will learn from other religions and stop being ashamed of our own faith? When will we rise up in love and truth and proclaim the Gospel as truth? When will we stop putting our Bibles on the shelves and start reading them and believing them? When will we stop worrying about what other people may say and start worrying about what the Lord will say when we stand before Him? He has given us His Word, his inerrant, infallible, unchangeable Word. Let's start believing...

"I warn if everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues detailed in this book, and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book." Revelation 22:18-19
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"And how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:15-17