Is it really well?....Part 1: The Inevitability of Loss...

It is well....with my soul....six simple words, packed with a powerful truth that at times are impossible to say. Loss, it is inevitable. We will each experience it. It comes in various shapes, sizes, and forms. It can be physical, emotional, or mental. It can touch deep within your soul; it can reach you in places you never realized existed. And no matter how great or how small, it produces a pain and a hurt that is real, and this pain and this hurt can cause a doubting that none can comprehend, unless they have been there. We should not be surprised by loss, scripture clearly points toward suffering and pain, "And after you have suffered a little while," "Weeping may tarry for the night;" scripture after scripture reminds me, I WILL suffer loss.

Loss...what is it? It is the losing of something or someone that held some type of value to our lives, to who we are as a person. It can be something that may seem as menial as losing an item of clothing or a text book, or it can be something greater. Divorce, affairs, miscarriages, loss of a loved one, moving away, breaking up of relationships, a career ending injury, loss of a valuable piece of jewelry, fire, robbery, illness, dementia, loss of self because we have become like others, loss of a job, financial difficulties, loss of a child...I could continue listing. Each of us can think of a loss, a time where pain reigned and hurt was a way of life.  It is inevitable..."And after you have suffered a little while," "Weeping may tarry for the night."

November 2006, my world changed, life as I knew it would never be the same, this was the beginning of a season of loss....I remember the phone call, the weight of the words on the other end of the line, my Grandmother had passed away suddenly, cardiac arrest, on the way to the hospital, alone in an ambulance, I remember the loneliness I felt in my home, I remember trying to fall back asleep on my sofa, I remember the doubt, the questions...loss, it brings a cloud over you. It is inevitable..."And after you have suffered a little while," "Weeping may tarry for the night."

Smiles, laughter, joy, crying, sleepless nights, dirty diapers, lots of them, all a part of the life of a newborn. A year to the day after my Grandmothers passing, November 16, 2007, I watched my brother-in-law carry a little white casket to the graveyard behind our church. A few days earlier, I remember, another phone call, I remember the weight of the words on the other end of the line, I remember thinking I was in the middle of a nightmare, I remember the wails, loneliness within my own home, a drive to a hospital that should have taken 40 minutes made in 20, I remember a week of tears, I remember the questions, the doubt....7 weeks is too little, Who would take an innocent child from their mother? Loss, it brings a weight, a heaviness to the soul. It is inevitable...."And after you have suffered a little while," "Weeping may tarry for the night."

There are losses you are able to prepare for, or at least be a little more prepared for. Within months of this picture, my family would suffer yet another loss, the loss of one of the greatest men I will ever know, my Granddaddy....summer 2010. I remember the daily routine of going by the nursing facility, I remember holding the tray to his mouth as he coughed up what was probably bile mixed with mucus, I remember helping him to the restroom, I remember sitting with him and watching his body slowly fade away, I remember walking out the door knowing it was the last time I would see him. I remember the phone ringing in the middle of the night, my mom's voice as she heard the news, the tears, he was gone, his chains were gone, he had been set free. Loss, it brings a sadness, it brings a longing. It is inevitable...."And after you have suffered a little while," "Weeping may tarry for the night."

Since my Grandmother's passing, my life has been a continuous season of loss, from the passing of loved ones, to financial difficulty, to moving two times in one year, to struggles in relationships with those I care the most, to other losses. Loss, it is inevitable. I have heard it said multiple times and in many different ways, there is no way the Lord would let "this" happen. There is no way a loving God could let bad things happen to His people. For a while, I wondered and questioned this same thought, this same idea, but as the losses piled, I ran to scripture. I had to know, in the depths of my soul, could a loving God allow such pain and hurt to happen to me, to anyone, and if He wasn't allowing it, then who was in control? Because I believed ultimately someone was ruling the earth, I believed ultimately someone had to be in control of every detail of every life...and as I read, and as I searched, scriptures began to pop from the pages, truth began to spring forth from the Word, my eyes saw and my heart believed. There is only One Person Who is sovereign, Who is reigning over every detail of my life. If the Lord Himself is not Sovereign, if the Lord Himself is not omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, if the Lord Himself does not hold every detail the happens to me in His hand and if everything that happens in my life does not pass through His fingers, then satan and his forces would have the power to reign over me, and I would rather know that my life was in the hands of the One Who created me, that whether it was good or bad, He was sovereign, I would rather know my God reigns over ALL than to even begin to think satan has the power to do and act as he pleases. Job clearly shows that satan can do NOTHING without the permission of my God, NOTHING. "There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job, and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. The LORD said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the LORD and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.” And the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?” Then Satan answered the LORD and said, “Does Job fear God for no reason? Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.” And the LORD said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand.” So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD."

None of us can comprehend the mind of Christ, none of us can begin to understand the Creator of the universe, the heavenly realms, the depths of hell. My finite mind can not even begin to comprehend the infinite mind of the Lord. Many may argue that a loving God can not allow suffering, can not allow pain, but I challenge anyone, if our God is not Sovereign, if He is not in control, then who is? We live in an evil world, look around, evil insnares us, it engulfs us, our minds are easily distracted, our hearts are easily torn, our lives are easily shattered, we live in a fallen world, satan and his forces are out searching the earth, like a roaring lion, and we will be touched by hurt, by pain, by suffering, by evil. I am not a great theologian, I am not a seminary graduate, but sometimes it is not about what books say, what man says, sometimes walking through hell and surviving is the only thing that sheds the truth, sometimes experience negates schooling. And this is what I have come to know, what I have come to believe, loss is inevitable, we will suffer loss! "And after you have suffered a little while," "Weeping may tarry for the night." But my loss does not compare to the loss my God suffered when He saw His Own Son hanging on a cross....that is the ultimate loss. And I have a hope...that NOTHING, no LOSS, can touch my life that does not pass through the hand of my Saviour. No matter how hard life is, no matter how many losses I experience, I have a HOPE, there is only ONE who is Sovereign. Satan can only do so much and he has already been defeated, read the last book he knows his time is limited and he knows his time to wreak havoc on this Earth is coming to a close. There are so many things we can not even begin to comprehend or understand, but even after the Lord allowed satan to take EVERYTHING from Job, even after the Lord allowed satan to test Job, Job still was able to worship, he was still able to stand with tears streaming down his face, with loss all around him, he was still able to fall on his knees and realize the hope he had, he was able to question, to hurt, to experience a pain like none other without sinning because he realized,"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong."

This journey is my own, my losses will be different than others, my pain will be different than others, none is greater than any other, but while loss is inevitable, we can walk through the valley...we can come out on the other side...and we can say "It is well....with my soul."

"It is well....with my soul....Though Satan should buffet, those trials shall come, Let this blessed assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, and hath shed HIS OWN BLOOD FOR MY SOUL! It is well....with my soul!"